Mai's story
by Thorfax97
Summary: This is a story on how I bacame a ninja that is feared and respected, but also loved and cared for. Better summary inside! GaaraxOcxSasuke
1. Summary

1 Okay I wanted to say some things that I couldn't fir in the summary. This follows the story of the anime but with a lot of changes! Please review blah blah blah u know all that stuff now here's the real summary! Yay!

_ I'm Mai. I am a sand village ninja. My best friend is Gaara. He may be holding the sand demon inside of him but I would be dead already if it wasn't for him whether it be from my own hand or someone else's; It's a different story. Well, not exactly. That's what plays into this story. It's about how my ninja life came to be and how Gaara has helped me through it all. From this I suppose you should know at least what I look like. Well, I have light brown hair some of it covering half of my face, the rest in a ponytail. I'm pretty thin, and kind of tall. Maybe about 5'6". I like to wear my headband as a necklace. I really only include that because this headband is one of the most important things in my life. Now to tell you my extraordinary story._

One more thing how often I upload depends on if I have writers block or not but I'll try to upload once a week at least. Okay just wanted to get that out of the way..


	2. Meeting him

1 I walked along the sandy streets thinking about why my family moved and why it had to be the village hidden in the sand.

_If they really cared they would have stayed where we were. I don't want to be here even though now I can be the ninja I always wanted to be. I thought._

I looked around and saw a little boy with red hair swinging at the playground I was heading to. _He looks really sad. I wonder why._ "I know! I'll go ask if I can play with him!" I said to myself. As I'm running over, I see a few other kids playing with a ball a few feet from the swings. "Oh, hello. Do you maybe want to play with me? I…understand if you don't want to. I mean, I am new in town." I said, trying to reassure myself. The little red head looked up at me with shock in his black rimmed eyes. "Really? You want to play with me? Are you sure? Because no one else ever wants to play with me!" He sounded surprised and excited.

I looked over at the other kids and saw them staring at me as if I was crazy. I stared back at them. This boy was really nice and I wanted him to be my friend more then I was aware of. "Of course! If I wasn't sure about it, then why would I ask? My name is Mai, what's yours?" he looked down at his feet and mumbled something then looked up and with a smile on his face "My name is Gaara." then he grabbed my hand and told me to follow him. I smiled and ran after him, laughing the whole time.

_I wish my dad could see me here. I should ask Gaara if he's going to be a ninja too! First, I want to get to know him little better. I hope he takes me back home! I've never been this far away before, _I thought to myself.

When we stopped running, finally, I looked around. This place looked like a regular area to most people, I guess. But to me it looked like so much more. It's as if this place were meant for us. It was a big open meadow up a hill. It was a great place we could play together without those other kids and their evil glares.

"Wow Gaara how did you find this? I would have never even noticed it!" he just looked at me with sad eyes and sighed. So I continued on "I can bring some toys later. Maybe a ball or something! This place is perfect so we don't get stared at by those other kids when we play together and maybe when we're older this will be a great place to get together after school and ninja missions!" I didn't mean to blurt out the ninja thing. It just came out. Plus, I was going to wait and see if he wanted to be a sand village ninja. That's when he looked at me a little different than before "Really? Mai, you're going to be a ninja too? That's great! If we're lucky we'll get into the same classes and the same squad! Oh-but how old are you? I'm seven years old. I was born on January 19th." I just stood there and stared at him. I mean how could we have that age difference? It's amazing! "Wow Gaara this is really cool! I was born on January 29th and I'm seven! I think that means we will be in the same class then!"

He looked at me and smiled.

_Wow just an hour or two went by, and he was smiling! I think it may have been those other kids that were upsetting him. I wish I knew why! Well, all I know is, that I will not abandon him. He's my friend now, and I will never hurt him. _

At that point, I had no idea what I was getting into. If I was anything like most people I would have ignored Gaara and went to play with the other kids but something draws me to certain people and I never give up on them. It's a kind of love I had for him, I suppose. There was some connection that I felt with him. "Mai, it's getting late. Maybe I should take you to your house. I think I know where you live. I kind of know the whole village." I laughed at that, since I don't even know where my house is and I even lived there for ninja's sake! "Yeah, it's starting to get dark out and my mom might worry about me. Besides, it must be near be dinner time. Oh, if my mom says its okay would you like to stay for dinner? If you think it's okay with your parents that is." I said, anxiously.

He looked at me, shocked, but with a smile on his face that made him look like a lost puppy that's found his way home. "Is it okay if I ask my uncle? I don't think he'll mind. My house is pretty close to yours. I could stop on there on the way to your house...if that's okay." I nodded. Then he grabbed my hand and we started running again. It seemed when he grabbed my hand this time, it seemed like it belonged there. I paid close attention to where we were going. I was so deep in thought, that I barely noticed when Gaara stopped running. "This is my house, Mai. You can come in and wait while I ask my uncle, okay?" I nodded and followed him into the house "Oh, there you are Gaara I was wondering where you were. I noticed you weren't at the park. Oh! Who's this?" His uncle said.

_He doesn't know about the meadow. Maybe only we do..._

"Yashamaru, this is my new friend, Mai, she invited me over to dinner is that okay?" His voice seemed to tremble a little. Gaara's uncle smiled and said it was fine. But he said that he'd better be back before dark and have one of my parents to walk him home. We both nodded and Gaara grabbed my hand again, and an electric current went down my spine. We started off to my house saying goodbye over his shoulder.

When we got to my house, my mom asked me if Gaara was a new friend and if he wanted to stay for dinner. When we nodded she said, "That's good! Now you two go wash up I don't know where you've been all day and I don't want you having dirty hands!" I walked towards the bathroom when I realized Gaara was still holding my hand. I didn't know what it was, being I was only six years old, but something felt so right about our hands touching. Feeling a little better about having someone with me when I was with my mother, I looked up from my feet. We washed our hands and Gaara looked over at me and I must have looked scared "Mai are you okay? If I'm a problem then I can leave." I looked up at him shocked that he could ever think that.

_Oh Gaara I could never be mad at you. It's really my mother. I don't want to get hurt tonight but I have to tell her. I have no choice! _

After hearing that, something made me automatically shout,"No! I'm just worried about my mom. I haven't told her about wanting to become a ninja. I knew I had to.

He smiled and nodded like he understood what I was going through but then again, most parents would be happy that their kid is going off to be a ninja! my mother didn't know though. "Kids, dinners ready! Come and sit down!" My mother called from the kitchen. Gaara looked at me with a gaze I hadn't seen before. I remembered back then that I knew this area, and he didn't. I smiled at the thought. Earlier it felt like I didn't know anything and I hate that feeling like that. For the next few weeks I'll try to know my way around the village a little better. That's me! Always setting a goal for myself. I grabbed Gaara's hand this time and I led him to the dinner table. "Okay little guy you can sit across from Mai over there. Oh I can't keep calling you that! What's your name boy?" Gaara looked a little surprised at being treated like that but hid most of it that, as much as I could see.

"My name is Gaara ma'am. It's very nice to meet you." He was very nice, but my mom stopped looking at him as soon as he said his name. She started staring at me like I was guilty, as if I had committed a crime! So I stared back at her, trying to defend my new friend with my eyes. I had to start showing her that I had a mind of my own. I couldn't have just sit by and live like she has her whole life. "Mom what are we having tonight anyway? I hope it's as good as usual." That was almost a taunt, and she could tell but since I kept my voice even. Gaara was there, so she couldn't start criticizing me again. "Well Mai I didn't know you liked my food that much but we're having pork ramen. Gaara I hope you'll like it." she said. That last sentence I said that night was my last for the rest of dinner. In my heart, I knew my own mother didn't like the only friend had I made in the whole village.

We ate, and Gaara helped us clean up after. That's when my mom had to interrupt our fun when she said, "Mai I think Gaara should be getting home it's almost dark. You can come back anytime though, Gaara." she smiled, but as she said this even though every word was a lie even at seven, I knew it. I was more observant then most seven year olds, and wise beyond my years. "Mom I'll walk with him home okay?" she nodded and we left. We headed out the door, then he said, "Hey Mai your mom doesn't like me does she?"

_Oh mom why do you have to ruin every friendship I've ever had?_

"Don't worry she would never do anything to you. I don't care if she does or not. You're my friend, Gaara." I said with a smile. I guess he noticed the you part at the end of my first sentence, and I meant to say anyone but I didn't want to lie to Gaara.

He stopped and looked at me seriously "You just said me. She's hurt you before." that wasn't a question, it was a fact. I couldn't look at him, I just looked at my feet again. "If she ever hurts you again, come to the roof of my house okay? I'll be there."

_Oh Gaara!_

I nodded, not really sure what would happen when I did, but trusting Gaara seemed so natural, even though I barely knew him. "Let's go." I sounded more rough than I meant to, I had to work on voice control. He held my hand and we walked toward his house. When we got to the front step he looked at me again and said, "Remember what I said." and hugged me. I guess that night is the whole reason I'm writing this if I hadn't reacted, if my mom was nicer none of this would have happened. I'm glad it did though. There were a couple of things I had learned that day. First, I knew I was determined to become a ninja and wouldn't give up. Second, I had found a new friend, a best friend that would never leave me. Lastly, I knew that that friendship would maybe become even more one day.

As I walked home I thought of the fact that I had made two promises and would have to break one of them. The first promise was to myself - when I told my mom I was going to be a ninja I wouldn't cry or tell anyone that she had hurt me. The second was to Gaara. I had a feeling that I would break the one to myself before the one to Gaara. When I got back home my mom was waiting for me, not like a normal parent would. When I looked over at her she smiled sadistically at me. I didn't flinch or make any movement at all. "So you choose the one person in the whole village that could get you into trouble to be your only friend? Well you will never see him again! EVER! You do know why everyone hates him don't you? DON'T YOU?"

_Great just what I need; silly little stories that someone else made up. Well I'm going to tell her anyway this is still better than most nights when I get home from mini training._

"Mom, I don't care what anyone else thinks. Now, I have something to tell you." I paused for minute. "I'm going to be a ninja." The next half hour went by in a haze of pain and screaming. I didn't care, I didn't cry, I didn't scream, or beg for mercy. I just took it. I knew I would have to deal with much more pain then this sooner or later. When she stopped for a minute to catch her breath, she wrapped her hand up in cloth so she could hit me harder, as I bolted out the door.

I climbed up to the building tops and jumped over to the one I knew was Gaara's. When I got there I didn't think he would be sitting there alone though. "Gaara what are you doing up here alone?" he was about to answer, when a cloud slid away from the moon and he saw me in the light. "Don't worry about me at least until my uncle has a look at you." When I shook my head no, he pulled me which hurt my cuts and bruises that my own mother gave me. When I looked myself over I was worse than I'd thought. My lip was cut in many places, and I had several more on the rest of my body. It felt like my foot was broken. I didn't even know if I would be ready in time to start training again for school. Too worried about school, I didn't even hear Gaara scream, "Uncle! Uncle! I need your help!"

"What happened to her?" His uncle said with a curious and horrified face. "Gaara you didn't do this did you? Come here, Mai, I should be able to heal you." I glanced at Gaara to see him looking at his feet acting like he was guilty.

_Oh Gaara, I don't know why you make yourself look guilty. Why does your uncle ask you if you did it? Only an adult could possibly hurt me this bad. I wonder what will happen to me after I heal... I sure can't go back home_.

"Thank you very much, but Gaara didn't do this." Gaara's uncle looked up at me with slight shock, but the emotion more noticeable on his face was worry. "Mai, if Gaara didn't do this then who did?" I didn't think anyone besides ninjas could do this kind of damage so fast." I looked at him wondering if I could trust him and what will happen to me now. "My mother did this because she doesn't like Gaara and she doesn't want me to be a ninja. She would kill me herself before letting me be a ninja." Gaara and his uncle looked at me with pure shock on their faces, and with sorrow. Gaara's face had sadness and worry mixed in. "Mai how come you didn't tell anyone about this, and why did you choose to come here? Surely your father or other family could have taken care of you as well!"

I stared down at my feet again, and I felt warm tears coming to my eyes. Thoughts from earlier coming back to me, and the fact the no one else could help me. "My father is dead. He was a ninja who had gotten killed in battle. The rest of my family is three days away; I would have died before getting there, and Gaara told me if my mother ever hurt me, to come here. I'm sorry. I don't want you guys to have to deal with this too." He looked over to Gaara and nodded. I stood there getting healed up until I had to sit down from the pain in my foot.

_I need to be healed soon. Training can't, it won't wait, and I don't want to be at the bottom of my class, I swore I would do my best in school. At least if I do get behind I at least have Gaara to help me out. I wonder what will happen to me now. I'll maybe become a street kid. All I know is, I'm not going back to my mother even if it kills me._ I thought to myself, as the healing went on.

"Well Mai you got lucky I was able to heal all the bad cuts and bruises. Your foot should be fine in a few days. I'm very grateful I learned some healing jitsu. It's come in handy more than you would think. I do have something else to offer. Mai, since I will not let you go back to your mother's house you can stay here as long as you want, and you can go to the academy with Gaara." Gaara looked at me and smiled, his teeth showing. I really loved his smile. I looked right back at him, my eyes determined. I thought I was smiling, but it hurt, so I stopped. I looked Gaara's uncle right in the eyes and said, "I would really like that. If it's not too much trouble, that is." he smiled and he said, "Of course not!" He showed me upstairs to the two guest rooms. One was right across from his and the other across from Gaara's. "You can look inside them and pick one out. Of course you we can get you some more clothes. Not much, but some, and eventually some other things to make the room more like your own."

I looked in the one across from Gaara's, and loved it; it was a darker grey with white and black accents, about medium size, and the most perfect room I had ever seen. "I'd like to live in this one, I just love it." He smiled and nodded "okay then we can go shopping for a few more things for you tomorrow and then you and Gaara can play together." I nodded and asked when I was supposed to go to bed and the other rules that I needed to know. He just laughed and told me to get to bed before he did and that I would learn the rest in time. "Well when do you go to bed usually?" I thought it was a good question. Guess not since he didn't answer and said goodnight to me.

_Wow things change so fast! Now I live with Gaara and his uncle and I'm going to the academy! After all that had happened today, I am pretty tired so I guess I should get to bed._

I thought to myself, thinking after only one day of knowing Gaara, there was something between us, and there was no fear anymore.I took off my shoes and took the ribbon out of my hair shaking it out so I could sleep well. Crawling into my new bed I briefly wondered how life was going to be from now on, as I drifted off to sleep.

(Gaara POV)

I sighed looking up at the dark night sky. It fed the demon Shukaku that lived inside of me. He was the reason most people hated me - even feared me. Instead of dwelling about the monster inside of me I thought about today and how surreal it all seemed. Most girls, or should I say, most people were terrified of me and called me a monster. Then there came Mai, and she didn't run. _She_ came up to _me_.

_I don't think she knows that I'm a monster. If she did know, would she run off just like the rest of them? I wish I could say I knew she wouldn't, but I just don't know yet. Then again, she hates those other kids for being mean to me. I just don't get it. Why do I have to go through this? I didn't do anything wrong that I knew of. Shukaku was the one who hurt people, not me. Oh why me? Why me?_

A soft whisper escaped from my lips "Why me?" then I felt the sand move to protect me from the many Kunai that were thrown at me from a ninja. As a ninja from the sand village, even I looked and saw that he had several more Kunai floating in mid air waiting to be thrown at me. But something snapped inside of me. I didn't deserve this. I did nothing wrong! I made the sand start to wrap around him tightening more and more until he was almost dead. And then, I came to my senses. I seem to have forgotten and removed the sand from his windpipe. It dropped the ninja down next to a wall.

I slowly walked up to the ninja and removed his mask with trembling hands. I saw who it was, and started crying. Under the mask was Yashamaru, my uncle. I had just killed my own uncle. I didn't know what to do, so I just asked why he did it. "The Kazekage. Your father ordered me to kill you." He said, soft enough for him to get it all out. I looked at him amazed that my own father would order someone to kill me. "It's okay. I understand you had to follow orders." Yashamaru looked at me with that glare in his eye. "They weren't orders. I could have chosen not to do this mission but I guess, deep down, I've always hated you." I stopped listening after that. I was too shocked and started bawling over him as he kept explaining about things and his reasons but I didn't care. All I knew was that I couldn't trust anyone and I would only fight for myself, no one else. I made a promise to myself. I wouldn't love anyone else ever again.

_But what about Mai? _A small voice said in the back of my head

I didn't listen even though I should have. It would have saved me so much pain. The sand rose up around me engraving my forehead. It was the Kanji symbol for love. I knew it meant something. Then I fell over my uncle, crying. The sun started to rise, when I heard Mai's footsteps.

_When she sees me, I know she will run and scream. She may even call me a monster. All because I'm over a dead body and that's only because of Shukaku. He killed Yashamaru, not me. But that still isn't a good reason. The one person who might care about me is going to hate me when she sees me like this everyone would...I care for her though and she might be able to see that...I really hope so..._

"Gaara what happened?" I didn't respond. She had tried to say it so nicely, gently trying to cover up the fact that she hates me. I just cried even more. I couldn't take anymore hate. She stared for a minute and then started walking over to me, though I barely noticed. The thing that shocked me the most was when she started to hug me. I knew she didn't care and just wanted me to stop crying, but I couldn't stop I had started crying tears of joy because she really didn't hate me. She actually, genuinely cared about me.

_Mai you have no idea what this means to me – what you mean to me…_

I realized that I had to protect her. So I made a promise that I knew I would never forget. "Mai thank you. I knew now that we were the same. Both of us had people that should've loved us, and cared for us, but hated us, and tried to kill us. I want you to know that I will always protect and be here for you. All we have now is each other." I meant every word of it and always would.

(Mai POV)

Waking up earlier than usual, I heard crying coming from above me. Putting my shoes on, I walked up to the roof and saw Gaara sitting there crying next to his uncle, who wasn't moving at all. "Gaara what happened?" I said, as nice as I could but he just cried harder. I finally realized what was wrong. His uncle was dead. I climbed up and walked over to Gaara and started hugging him. I could feel the wet spot on his shirt from his tears but didn't move. I knew that this was the only way to help him right now. Eventually, he stopped crying and hugged me back, a little surprised at that it felt welcome either way. "Mai thank you. I knew now that we were the same. Both of us having people that should love us hate us and try to kill us. I want you to know that I will always protect and be here for you. All we have now is each other." I froze in shock from the fact that his kind, giving uncle would try to kill him given the fact that he made such a big promise as that. "As I will be here for you no matter what too, Gaara, but how will we survive?" he pulled away at that and searched the body of his uncle and pulled out his wallet "Right here there is about four thousand dollars and I know where he kept his money stash, but I don't know how much is in it."

I nodded and went down stairs to brush my hair, and get ready to go out because I had no idea how to cook and didn't feel hungry. After I was done I saw Gaara waiting for me. "Ready to go eat and get you some clothes?" I nodded and he grabbed my hand just like yesterday, this time though it wasn't in fun though, we were serious and we had to survive on our own. He led me to a ramen shop and when we sat down I couldn't tell if people were staring at me or him. "After this we can go get you some new clothes. I'm not sure how much but you can't keep walking around like that people will think that you got attacked, and we can't have that with me around." I nodded and ordered my food; we ate in near silence, people staring at us the whole time. When we were done, he paid and took my hand again and ran off towards wherever that store was. Looking around, I saw that a lot more people around there and we were heading to a bigger building, and it scared me. I hated shopping enough with my mother helping me out, but alone I was terrified. It was all just a blur when we got there. Gaara had about as much fun as I did. In the end I got some stuff I liked, and enough that we didn't have to go to the smaller stores in town. It was one of the most fun days of my life.

_Gosh I hate shopping so much. Glad that's over. Gaara has gotten so much more solemn. It's fine with me. I normally act sad and quiet but, when I'm with him, I can be myself. I-I don't really know why, but I feel like I changed something that would have happened if I didn't run when I did, or go to the other park I was going to go to. I really don't know why I feel like I have to stay with Gaara though, why did I make that promise? It doesn't make any sense. It's almost as if I care for him more than just a friend...I wonder..._

"Mai, we have to go register for school and get our supplies." Gaara interrupted my thoughts. I hadn't realized that it was getting that close to the school year, but I gave up my old life for this one and I was going to be a ninja if it killed me, and might do just that. I followed him but he grabbed my hand instead, even though I knew where this place was. I looked at him questionably and he smiled and held tighter. I guess he thought I was going to let go, he was wrong. I liked that he held my hand a lot. We walked together to the school building. When we got there, Gaara got nervous and I knew I would be the one to do the talking.

"Yes?" A ninja had just walked out from the building and almost ran into us. She seemed to know Gaara. She looked down and saw us holding hands, and glared at the both of us. I guess Gaara didn't notice though. "We uh.." I trailed off and sighed. I knew this would happen. I tried again. "Hello I'm Mai and you seem to already know Gaara. We came to register for school but we don't really know how. I was hoping you could help us." She looked at me like I was a bug in her food, or something she wouldn't find very good. But she still helped us out with registering and giving us our supply list. "There now you two are ready for school. It starts in three weeks time, so be ready for something harder than playing ball, you little runt!" I knew she was talking about me in the last part, I glanced at Gaara, and I saw he was glaring at her. When she finally noticed his glare, she flinched and walked away. "Okay, so what do we do now?"

_Everyone that sees me with Gaara either hates me or is shocked that I'm with him_..._like that ninja. I could have lived without the glares, but I think I'll get used to it... I won't give up on Gaara no matter what!_

**Okay what did you think? Review this is my first story and could use the help! Oh I forgot this..I DO NOT OWN ANY NARUTO CHARACTERS! I do own Mai though.. And also I wanted to thank my friend/editer for helping out with this. Thanks Holly! okay now that I've embarrassed someone it's time for me to say good bye!**


	3. Graduating Day

1 7 Years Later

(Mai POV)

I sighed and looked at who was in front of me in line. Only two more to go. I sighed again. This was going to take forever. I mean, I know it's the Genin exams, and I heard they got a lot harder. I was the second best - if not the best - student in my class. The only one who could possibly even scratch me was Gaara. And that's only because we trained together every day. Even though this was true, I couldn't hurt him, even if I wanted to. He doesn't have a weakness that I knew of. The next person was called in. One more person to go.

_Man people are going to stare at me when they call out my name. It's not every day that you hear someone with that name. It's not even my last name, but Gaara made me take his after a few years, so that way, my mother couldn't find me. I am grateful that he would let me do that. It's just that I'm sick of hearing whispers about it..._

"Next up, Mai!" A slight pause before they called my 'last name' and I started walking in by the time they had said it"Mai Of The Desert!" His voice was almost shaking just from saying it. "Huh wimp,"I muttered under my breath. I could almost feel Gaara smirking behind me, only enough for me to notice."Ok, Mai, we want you to do the sand clone jitsu. Then transform the both of you into myself." the sensei growled. It was his way of trying to take control of the situation. I did the hand signs down so fast, my hands were just blurs. I knew that I shouldn't be able to do it. Most Jounin make hand sings that fast. **"Sand clone jitsu!"** I shouted. Then, five more of me blasted into existence. I then transformed them all into the sensei. When he nodded, I released the jitsu_. _ "Good job. You pass," was all he said, and passed me a black headband with the Sand village symbol on it, proving that I was a Genin. I grabbed it, tied it around myneck, and walked away without a word.

_They knew I would pass. I'm one of the most powerful ninjas in this village, thanks to my training with Gaara. I wonder why they even put Gaara and I through this._

My thoughts shifted suddenly to Gaara.

_Oh Gaara, if only you could tell how much I like you, how much I – I love you. Ever since you made that promise, I guess I've always loved you. It's not like I could get almost any guy in the village. I found out that most of them only talked to me because of my looks or the fact I live with Gaara…Gaara treated me like he cared about me, even if it was in his cold, emotionless way. I knew that he wasn't emotionless. I could kind of tell what people were feeling and if I tried hard enough, what they were thinking…_

"Mai, let's go." I looked up to see Gaara staring at me, waiting. I nodded and started walking, not wanting him to see my face since I was slightly blushing. I could feel his concern coming off of him. It wasn't the first time either. Whenever I wouldn't look at him, or talk to him, he was always like that, but there was something different that he was feeling when we talked and sat watching the night sky together_._ It was never there when he was with anyone else. I wondered about what it could be, since I had never really felt that before. I heard Gaara stop in front of me and turn to face me. "Mai is there something wrong? You've been acting...different around me lately." I could feel my face start to get warmer. "Don't worry about it Gaara. It's nothing." My voice trailed off.

He looked at me, disbelief on his beautiful face. I didn't tell him. I just lied to him for the first time ever, in all the years we'd been friends, and the many years I knew I loved him. He was getting ready to say something, but I didn't really want to be questioned. So I walked off to my favorite spot to be alone. My mind wandered to the meadow that Gaara found when we were little. I tried to stop thinking about it, but I couldn't. I kept thinking about the green grass, the flowers in full bloom, and most of all, Gaara. I couldn't believe I had just run away from Gaara. He was my best friend, and, most of all, I was in love with him! If I want him to love me, or hopefully, keep on loving me, I need to go back! I knew if he wanted to find me, he would know where to look. Soon enough after I had calmed down, I started to wait for him. I didn't have to wait for very long.

"You ran away before I could finish." I could hear, and feel the hurt that I had just caused him. I hung my head, sadly, wishing I could rewind and just start over. Gaara looked at me my head bowed and lifted my chin lightly with his hand. "Don't look so sad, I like it much more when you laugh and smile. It makes me happy to still be alive." I looked up at him in shock. At first I couldn't look him in the eyes, but when I felt them never leaving my face, I looked into them. Much to my surprise, I could see caring and gentleness in them mixed with something else. I couldn't tell what but I did know that it was the same thing I felt coming off of him when we were alone.

I stared deep into his eyes, never wanting that moment to end. "Mai, please tell me what's wrong so I can make it all better." he said almost pleading with me. I sighed and wished that I could hide my emotions like he did. "Ok, I will tell you. But you might not like the answer too much. He just looked down at me as if to say 'try me.' I sighed again and told him "Gaara I-I love you. I have for a long time and didn't want you to know, because I thought you would reject me, so I don't know why I'm telling you now because I didn't want to wreck our friendship. But I can't help myself." he looked at me with shock, and that strange emotion rolling in huge waves off of him. Then he took my chin in his hand again and his other hand around my waist holding me close to him. Then, he did something that I usually wouldn't have expected. I loved this, and was extremely shocked about it. He leaned down and kissed me. I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him back, not wanting to ever let this end. Soon enough, I had to pull away so I could catch my breath. He wouldn't let me stop very long. I then realized what the emotion coming off of him was. And I shared that emotion.

He loved me, I loved him, and nothing would ever change that fact. "Gaara do you really, truly l-love me? I need to know." I murmured, blushing a deep shade of red that made Gaara smirk in the twilight. Then he looked at me in the loving way I had already become used to. What I didn't realize what that he had always looked at me that way even if it was hidden in the cold eyes he gave most people. He sighed and murmured the answer to my question in my ear. "That was the dumbest thing I have ever heard you ask in my life. You should've known that I have always loved you, I do love you, and will always love you, even if I am a monster that shouldn't feel love. I don't deserve it, especially from you."

I could feel sadness and love coming off of him. It was strange, since those feelings almost never came together in most people's lifetimes. I looked up at him and kissed him passionately, letting him know I did love him whether he thought he deserved it or not, when the truth was, I didn't deserve him. "Gaara, you are not a monster, and never will be as long as I'm alive. It's the demon inside of you that wants to kill people, not you. You care for people, and their safety, even if you don't know that, I can tell." he looked at me in shock, not knowing what to say. "It's getting late. How about we go home?" I said. He nodded and held me even tighter to him if that was possible, and we vanished in a swirl of sand and reappeared at our house, only to see Kankuro and Temari waiting for us.

Kankuro looked at Gaara holding me, with amusement across his face. "So Gaara you finally got a girl, huh? It sure took you long enough. I mean, she's been living in this house with you since you were what, six? It took you till you guys were thirteen to realize you liked each other? I guess I lost my bet, Temari. Here you go." Kankuro was joking the whole time till he got up to the bet part. Gaara and I gave a glare at both of them when we heard this, they flinched from both of us looking more scared at the fact I could get a glare the rivaled Gaara's. "You two made a bet on us? What the hell Temari? I thought we were friends!" she looked a little saddened and hurt when I said we 'were' friends. I could feel despair coming from her at the thought of losing her only friend. "I'm sorry Mai. But Kankuro said that you two would never figure out that you liked each other and I disagreed until he asked if I wanted to make a bet and I was mad and said sure and now..."

I looked at them, both shocked. I was about to speak, but Gaara beat me too it. "You two knew she loved me and didn't tell me?" I could feel everything they felt. I turned to look at him, shocked at the use of the word 'love', since he had never used it before. Kankuro and Temari were shocked even more! I saw the sand start to come out of his gourd in the corner of the room. Kankuro spoke before Temari could recover. "D-did you say love? You love him?" I glared at him and spoke with as if venom were my voice. "Of course I do! My heart will belong to only him and stay that way for as long as I live." I saw the sand start to retreat back into the gourd, and Gaara looked at me.

He didn't know how to say it, but I could feel that he loved me too, and it was the same for him. I smiled and kissed him, and he returned it, until he broke away and looked at his older siblings. "Now what do you two want?" his emotionless voice had returned although I could still feel his emotions. There was happiness, caring, and most of all, love. That word had been used more in the past few hours then it had been for almost ten years of my life. Temari answered him, glad that I had forgiven her since I had stopped glaring, and was looking at her like I always had. "We know all four of us are going to be put on the same squad, and we know that our biggest mission will be coming up in about two months. We need to start training you two to work with us as a team. I know you and Mai can work together flawlessly since you're the only person she will train with and she passed the Genin test top of your class. We will see you tomorrow at the training grounds at six, after you meet us as your ninja team."

Kankuro nodded, still looking at me funny, and walked out followed by Temari who looked over her shoulder and spoke words that were meant for me."Oh, and Mai? If you break Gaara's heart, I will have to kill you, ok?" I nodded, knowing I would never do that, and watched them leave. I turned to Gaara, knowing he would be sad after hearing that, but I needed to say it. "Gaara…" I said. He looked at me. I could sense his fear. It was all an act.

_I could never do that to you, Gaara. I love you. Whether I deserve your love is different_...

"I need to take a walk, alone. It'll help clear my head. I need to think about things that just happened okay?" he nodded, still afraid and sad. I sighed, and kissed him again, he kissed back, with an interest in the way he did it. This was so right. Then I turned, and walked out into the night alone. I knew I would go to the wall to be alone. I did that a lot when Gaara thought I was sleeping, just to think everything over. To tell the truth I only got about two to four hours of sleep a night. I started think when I was walking, knowing the route so well I could walk it blindfolded.

_Gaara does love me! Things change so fast…I don't know how to react to all of it at once…I guess we can just take it one step at a time,_ _starting with the_ _fact that we're Genin now, so we have to start training harder…Luckily, I had figured out a few ways to work with Temari since I had seen her fight with her fan a few times before. All I have to do is distract at close range with my Tijitsu and she can work her Ninjitsu from a distance. Gaara, who I know so well, I don't even need to think about him…Kankuro? I had only heard he was a puppet master and that was it. I know nothing else about his fighting style..._

I looked around and saw I was at the wall and jumped up to the top, to watch the stars for a little while when I sensed a strong amount of Chakra coming from around me. I stood up and grabbed a Kunai from the pouch on my leg and then quickly did a Genjitsu to make me look like I had relaxed, and started watching the stars again. I didn't have to wait very long for my enemy to come out and look at me. He crept out slowly. He had long black hair and almost looked like a snake, accept he had grey skin.

_What the hell? Who has grey skin? Then again, who looks like a snake?_

"Ah, Mai! I see you know some tricks too. It will make you even better for what I have planned for you." he held his hands together to make a hand sign **"Release!" **he had broken my Genjitsu. I will admit it wasn't very strong, but he saw it so easily, it amazed me. "Ok, you found me, so what the hell do you want from me? I'm pretty sureI didn't want some pedophile-looking snake guy to plan something out for me." I sounded cocky, like I didn't care, but truth be told I was terrified that he wouldn't get everything he wanted out of me and go after Gaara too. Snake Guy laughed at me. That pissed me off more than most things could. I'm not really sure why though.

"Oh Mai, you've become so strong, when you don't even know your full powers yet. That's why I offer that you come with me to get strong and become my apprentice. You should feel special. I normally send someone else to do these type of things for me, but you...you just capture my interest more than the others do…" I had no idea what to say so I just settled for what I thought of first. "Ok, first off, who the hell are you? Second, why would I want to go with you? I have people I care about here. I could never leave! Third, I don't feel like fighting you, so when I say no to your offer, can you just, you know, leave?"

He smirked at that. I could tell he liked my cocky attitude and that he knew I didn't always act like that. The sand siblings were the only people I cared about, everyone else here, I hated. "Oh dear, Mai, how have you not heard of me? I am Orochimaru." My eyes widened at that. He just laughed more. "And don't think I don't know about you and the sand siblings! Especially the one who holds the Shukuka spirit inside of him!" I stared at him wanting with all my heart to attack him, but I knew it would be no use. "And lastly I will gladly leave, but only if you come with me and if you don't I will kill the boy." I didn't just want to attack him now. I wanted to kill him so painfully that his screams would be heard from the leaf village.

I know sadistic but very true I tried to calm down and think things over. "If I leave with you do you promise to never hurt Gaara or the other sand siblings?" he looked at me. An even creepier smile came to his face. "My, my, my, I didn't realize you cared for them so much, Mai. I will not hurt them as long you come with me." I sighed and knew I had no choice but to go with him. I put my Kunai back in the pouch and took the headband I earned today down on the ground with a message I left on some scrap paper I carry around. The message was made out of Chakra. It explained what had happened, and I knew only Gaara would be able to see it since our Chakras were connected in some spiritual way.

"Ok, let's go." Orochimaru smiled, jumped away, and ran after him close to tears from leaving Gaara behind, but I knew the whole village barely stood a chance against him, let alone a Genin all by herself, no matter how strong I was.

_Gaara, don't hate me…I will always love you no matter what...don't let your fear doubt that…I almost hope you move on after I'm gone so that way you don't have to deal with the pain I'm going through…I hope you don't come after me when you find the note…but in some way, I wish you would…_

I couldn't hold them in any longer. I started to cry, but kept up with Orochimaru nonetheless. I could feel the hot tears stream down my face as I tried to wipe them away with my hand, even though I knew that I was crying too hard to get rid of them. 'A Shenobi must not show their feelings' ran through my mind as I stopped all of a sudden as a plan came to my head.

_Orochimaru...he won't keep me with him for long. No, he'll train me to be as strong if not stronger than him...when he's done, than I can attack and kill him…I have many years of waiting before I will be able to see Gaara again, but if I can kill Orochimaru, then it might almost be worth it..._

I put on a poker face that you learn fast enough from hanging out with Gaara all the time. The only reason I learned it at first was to show him how unhappy he looked, and then I started using it more and more often. I looked at our surroundings and saw we were getting close to a forest. It looked like The Land of Fire to me. We ran at speeds that most Jounin couldn't handle. I figured it out later. Suddenly, a group of ninjas jumped in front of us "Show us your passes, and headbands at once or we will have to make you leave! By force if needed!" I looked at the ninja. She seemed like a good ninja. She had short black hair, falling loose around her shoulders. She looked about twenty five, give or take a few years.

Orochimaru laughed and looked at me. "Go on! Show them that they will have a problem taking you by force. I could take them out easily but I want to see what you do." I stared at him, not believing what I just heard. These guys were all Chunin or Jounin and here, I was barely a Genin.

_No not even that anymore. I'm a traitor and a horrible lover._

I sighed and said tiredly, "I don't stand a chance, and I'll probably die, but I can't give up. I have to save him. I love him, and I made my choice to protect him!" by then I was screaming and attacking the ninja with rage at myself and Orochimaru. When they got over to me, while I was still in shock of my words, they whipped out there weapons. The girl had poison tips. I could tell that it would only knock me out though. The big man next to her had some sort of huge sword that he swung as if it were a feather. And the small teen off to the side just had a Kunai to fight with. I blacked out after I saw them ready to fight. I didn't know what happened, till I woke up.

(Gaara POV)

It had been hours since Mai left. I knew that she left quite often, and I know just where she went, so I got up and started heading towards her little night-time spot. When I got there I didn't see anything until a cloud moved away from the moon and I saw a glint of metal. It worried me, if she had gotten into I fight I would have known, so I didn't have a clue as to why there was metal on the ground. I slowly walked over to it, and saw it was a headband of the sand village. No scratches or anything like that. It was just laying there.

When I saw the paper I knew who's it was, and I could feel my heart almost burst in pain when I realized what it meant.

_S-she left me, and the village...how could she? She said she loved me, and now I know that no one truly loves me. They don't care! She never cared…I don't want to read the note, but I know I have to or I may be hurting myself for no reason._

I walked over to the note and saw it was written in Chakra. Mai had left it for only me to read then...or didn't have the time to write anything down on paper. I opened it, and started to read what it said, and I felt rage and sadness come over me as I read the words.

Dear Gaara,

Please don't think I left you…please. I love you! And I would do anything to be with you right now instead of this. This evil man, Orochimaru took me…I know it sounds bad, but don't worry about me. I did this by my own choice to save you, Temari, and Kankuro, but mainly you. I'm so sorry I had to do this to you after all that happened today. When you said you loved me…it was the best thing that has ever happened to me. You confessed your love…that makes you a real man. You will see me again someday after I kill Orochimaru or sneak away from him. I wanted to explain so you didn't think I hated you or something. My last words to you are that I love you more then you could ever know and I will miss you.

Don't come after me. I love you.

-Mai Of The Desert

I could feel my heart dying inside of me. My sadness was almost overwhelming. I knew I couldn't let Shukaku take over me because of Mai. She would be upset if I did that because of her. So I tried to control it and set myself a goal of kill Orochimaru myself as revenge for taking the love of my life away from me. Before I knew it I was on my hands and knees crying tears of loss and sadness. I jumped from roof top to roof top till I got back home and went into my room and cried until I could pull off an emotionless face with no trouble. It took awhile to say the least but no one ever knew that I had cried that night and that was the whole point of going to my room. I would feel nothing for months, maybe even years until I saw her again


	4. My New Life

1 (Mai POV)

When I opened my eyes I had no idea where I was and I barely remembered who I was, but I clung to my name as it was the only thing I remembered at that point.

_Mai. Mai of the...something. I'll just go with Mai for now till I remember the rest. My name is Mai and that is all I really know about anything..._

I sighed and tried to sit up, but when I did, I felt dizzy, and laid back down, wondering where I was. I looked around, trying to figure it out and not having much luck. All that was around me was a white room, with white sheets, and I was even wearing white clothes, but I did see a blood red shirt and skirt laid out on a table with some mesh clothing next to it. I had no idea if they were for me, so I just stared at them. Then I heard voices coming from outside my door and listened in on them. "I'm so sorry Hoakage-Sama but we have no idea who she is, or where she is from. We just know she showed up with Orochimaru and tried to attack our Shenobi." Suddenly my head hurt with pain equal to about a thousand Kunai being shoved into my skull at once. I couldn't help but scream in pain. I vaguely saw two people enter the room as I screamed, and clutched at my head to try and stop the pain. I saw images and memories flash in my head.

_ There was a night sky. There was an edge, I was being watched. One painful choice. Running though the sandy desert. A snake man telling me to attack. My heart ripping to pieces. A note. A headband. My hate for the snake man that was Orochimaru. Blacking out._

The memories slowed, and soon stopped, but the pain in my head was still terrible, and I was sweating. I hissed with a cold hate in my voice "Orochimaru…" the two men who entered the room, heard me screaming, and looked at each other. The first guy was old, with a red and white shirt. He stood there with a goofy hat, and he looked at me. "Please calm down. Orochimaru isn't here. Not anymore at least." he said in a calming voice. My headache was slowly going away, and I relaxed a little, but I didn't know the men, and some sort of instinct made me glare up at them, but I lay back down anyway. "Hmm…so you have had ninja training then? Where are you from and who are you?" the old one said looking down at me. I looked at him with surprise and could feel that he was curious and being cautious at the same time. I cocked my head to the side "Ninja training. I wouldn't know if I had that or not, but from what I just remembered I must have at some point, though I'm not sure when. As for my name, I am Mai of the...something. I can't remember anymore than that, sorry." The one with a headband looked at the older man as if waiting for him to say something. "You may leave now." was all he said to the man with the headband one.

The guy with the headband quickly left, like he was told to do. I looked up at him, wondering who he was. "I am the Hokage leader of the Leaf Village. You are in the leaf village hospital, but the worst you seem to be suffering from is memory loss at the moment. I will check you out of the hospital now, since you don't seem to have a clue what's going on, and you don't seem like you're teamed up with Orochimaru." I looked up at him, surprised for some reason. I told him about my memories, then and he nodded in understanding. "Orochimaru must have put a jitsu that would make you lose your memories if you ever thought of betraying him. For now, you can go to the Ninja Academy here in the Leaf Village. I do have a few more things to tell you. Whenever you do regain some of your memory back, come and tell me right away. Also I will get an apartment set up for you to live in. I'll have someone escort you there later." he started walking away "Oh, those are your clothes if you want to change." and walked out.

I sighed in sadness. Something was hurting my heart, and I knew all of that pain couldn't be coming from the fact that I lost my memories. It was the pain I felt from my memory when I went with Orochimaru. It was heartbreak. I hope whoever I broke my heart for was okay and wasn't mad at me. I got up and wasn't dizzy this time, and changed into my blood red clothes and had the mesh shirt and legging type things on too. I looked at myself in the mirror. My hair was down and I was dirty, but I didn't feel comfortable showering here so I just put my hair up with some hanging out to cover my face, and thought I looked ten times better then with my hair up. And then I went into the bathroom and washed my face with warm water. It felt much better than the cooler air around me.

I heard a knock on the door, and soon a blonde boy with an orange jumpsuit on with goggles on top of his head burst into my room without waiting for me to answer the door. "So are you the girl who got the apartment next to mine?" he looked at me and when I didn't respond his blue eyes opened in shock for some odd reason, then shouted, "Wait…YOU CAN TALK RIGHT?" I flinched and lowered my hand down to my right thigh but nothing was there.

_Why on earth did I do that?_

I looked at the boy with a glare. It was his turn to flinch at me. "Of course I can talk! I was just wondering why a weird boy with and orange jumpsuit, would barge into my room without waiting to make sure I wasn't changing!" I smirked at him. He blushed and started to stammer a sorry when I laughed at him. "You should've seen your face! It was awesome, goggle boy! But really, next time, wait for me to answer, or I will attack you, ok?" I said all of this with a sweet smile on my face. The boy grinned at me laughing with my joke then he stopped as he thought of something. "My name isn't goggle boy! I'm Naruto Uzimaki, the next and greatest Hokage that ever lived!" he said it with such determination, that I couldn't help but smile a little. "Okay, I believe you and by the way where the hell is my house, and why am I stuck next to a future Hokage?" He looked at me and grinned. "Well come on! I'll show it to you!" he ran off and I had no trouble keeping up with him which surprised him since he was going pretty fast.

I could hear whispers and people glaring at us. Maybe they were just about him. My head started to hurt again. I needed to get somewhere to rest without all these people around, so I didn't scare them from screaming. "Hey, Naruto! We need to get there...and fast!" he looked at the pain on my face and ran twice as fast. We got there within a minute, and my head felt like it was being stabbed again, and the flashes then started.

_There's a red head with black rimmed eyes, about seven years old. I'm holding hands with the boy, while people whisper around us. I feel anger toward the people. I felt the fear and anger from the people to the boy and some even at me. There's sadness on the boy's face. Then he looks at me, and he cheers right up..._

The pain went away slowly and I could get back to my feet within a minute of falling to the ground in pain. I could tell I had screamed again. I looked at Naruto, who was at eye level with me, a worried look on his face. "Hey, are you alright? Uh…um…Gosh I don't even know your name yet!" He looked worried and shocked by his discovery. I laughed a weak laugh. "My name is Mai of the... of the...something. That I don't remember at this point in time. Look, can you wait for maybe ten minutes while I take a shower and then maybe take me to the Hokage? He told me to come to him if that ever happened again."

Naruto still looked worried and shocked, but nodded his head. I could feel slight excitement coming off of him about seeing the Hokage. I smiled just a little. I took a quick shower, and put my hair up while it was still wet. Since my red clothes were the only ones I had, I wore them again, even though they were too thin for this kind of climate. I walked out to see Naruto waiting for me in the front room. And, the only room, other than the bathroom, looking impatient for me to be ready. "It's about time! Let's go! I want to know what's happening to you, Mai!" I looked at Naruto in slight shock that he cared that much. Then I nodded "I'll ask if the Hokage can help me explain, since I don't know even know where to start…" he nodded, and jumped off.

I sighed and followed him, wondering where he got his energy from. Soon, we were at the Hokage's office - the guards let us through, but I had already made a plan in case they didn't let us past, and kept it in mind, just in case I needed it later. 'The Third' looked up, saw me, and looked sad. Then he saw Naruto and almost smiled, but held it in, even though I could feel amusement coming from him. My personal nickname for master Hokage is 'The Third' because he is the third Hokage. "Ah, Mai, I'm going to assume you didn't mind your companion and you found your house then?" I nodded, but since I still looked worried I guess he caught on.

_Took him long enough to realize why I'm here..._

"Tell me what you remember. But first, sit down please." he gestured to a chair in front of his desk. I nodded and sat down. Naruto followed, and sat down next to me. 'The Third' looked at me, but I just nodded like I wanted him here, and I did. I felt like I knew someone like him, and wanted to be around him more. "Well Naruto and I were running back to my apartment, and I could feel people staring at us and whispering, almost like they hated us or something. My head started to hurt like it did when you said Orochimaru's name. I yelled at Naruto to hurry up so I didn't make a scene. And then, as soon as we got into the door, I couldn't hold it back anymore. The images and feelings started flooding into my head. There was a redhead with black rimmed eyes. He looked about the age of seven. We were standing together. I was about the same age. We were holding hands as people whispered around us. They were whispering terrible things about the boy and about me for being too close to him. I could sense the hate and fear coming from the villagers, and sadness coming from the boy. Then, he looked at me and seemed to become much happier..."

I sounded like an idiot. I seemed to think so, but Naruto looked at me, shock on his face, like he had never seen anyone like me before in his life. I decided to look into his emotions a little more, but not his mind, I would never use that unless I had to. It was an invasion of privacy. I could sense the shock, the wonder, the happiness, the worry, and was there jealousy? I couldn't believe it. He was jealous of a little boy that I don't even remember the name of! All because he held my hand! I could tell why. I didn't even question it. Naruto would just have to get used to the fact that this kind of thing would happen sometimes.

"Hmm…well it is strange that whispering would cause that sort of reaction, but thank you for telling me right away. Continue to tell me whenever this happens. I suppose we should explain this to Naruto so you don't have to do it alone. Naruto, Mai here has lost her memories, or should I say she's had them suppressed so that she can't access them at free will until something unblocks them such as names or things that remind her of something that had happened to her before she came to the Leaf Village. I have offered her to stay until all of her memories come back. I am also just now offering her to train to become a Leaf Genin, but of course if you find out you are already a ninja somewhere else. I would allow you to leave freely." the Hokage told us.

I just looked at him with my multicolored eyes, huge with shock. I nodded slowly. I thought that by being a ninja I would have more of a chance to meet people from my past and unblock my memories. Who knows? Maybe just seeing one person would help me. "Good. You'll start tomorrow at the academy at 7 o'clock! Oh, and if Naruto isn't banging on your door by say six thirty, you can break his door down since tomorrow is the exam. Naruto, I need to speak to Mai alone for a few minutes." Naruto nodded, and walked out of the room without a word.

I looked at 'The Third' and waited for him to start. "Mai, you probably have forgotten all of your jitsu, so I'm going to teach you the jitsu you will need to pass tomorrow's exam. Then maybe that will unlock the others that you know." I nodded and watched closely. He made a few hand signs that I already knew for some reason, and started to copy him with ease, slowly remembering all of my jitsu, and then I stopped the hand signs and started the cloning jitsu again. This time, though, my hands were a blur, so I quickly made about ten clones of myself. Then I transformed them into different things. After I got bored of that, I released the jitsu.

I felt shock and slight fear coming from him. My head started to hurt once more. This time I embraced it to come to me, wanting to see the boy again, if I got lucky.

_There is a hallway, where kids waited to get access to become a Genin. I looked back and saw the redhead again, except this time I could feel different emotions coming from him. There is sadness, anger, hate, slight bloodlust, caring, worry, and the faintest trance of love. He looked right at me with his cold eyes. I heard a voice. "Mai," then there was a pause. I knew it was me, so I started walking forward "Mai Of The Desert." I sighed as his voice had trembled. I could tell the redhead behind me smirked, because I thought the guy was a sad excuse for a Shenobi, and because he had me using his last name. That made him happy. I walked into the room and was told to do a few jitsus. I passed easily, got my headband, and walked away without a word._

The memory faded. I looked up at 'The Third' and as soon as I had caught my breath from screaming, I stood up and I told him my whole memory, realizing I sounded like an idiot again. When I was finally done, 'The Third' looked at me, and told me to not leave the village for a few days while he tried to contact the Kazekage. I could feel shock, and even more fear coming off of him.

_I'm not a monster, or a bloodthirsty killer! So, why is he acting like I am one?_

I just shrugged it off, and told him I was going to find Naruto. I didn't plan on going back home until I could cheer up this boy. There was always an under layer of sadness in him. It had faded, just a smidge, and I was still planning on going to the academy tomorrow. Then, I would go back to wherever I came from. But I still had no idea where that was, exactly. I just knew it was in the desert somewhere. Not much help really. So for now I was going to make the most out of my life in the Leaf Village, and I was going to start that by making sure Naruto was happy, for real.

I wandered around town, until I saw him go into a ramen shop. I was so hungry, that I thought _Why not?_ Then, followed him in. "I need a large pork ramen!" I could hear Naruto practically shouting. I sighed. There was no way he would be able to eat all of that. "Hey, Naruto." I said as I walked into the shop, I ordered a small beef ramen. "Hey, Mai. How did it go with the Hokage?" he asked. He tried to sound like it didn't matter to him, but I could tell on the inside he really, really wanted to know. "It was…ok I guess. he taught me the jitsu I needed to know for tomorrow. Just by doing that one jitsu, I could remember a lot of them. Oh yea, and after I did that, I regained another memory." I tried to say calmly.

Naruto didn't care how I said it, but it seemed like that by saying it like it was no big deal. It got him mad for some reason. "YOU CAN'T JUST ADD THAT IN LIKE YOU FORGOT ALL ABOUT IT!" I looked at him, yelling at me without flinching or even acting like

I heard him. He would have to learn to politely respond to yelling. "Naruto, please stop yelling. You're causing a scene. And I don't like people looking at me. I will tell you everything that happened if you sit still, shut up, and let me speak." I said all of that without my voice even being raised, or anything else, which, for me, was quite an accomplishment really.

Naruto looked at me, sat down, and started to listen as I told him everything, except the emotions coming from the redhead that I was attracted to, I will admit. He seemed...different than the other guys. Naruto looked at me and I wondered if he was going to point out the way I talk about the boy. I got lucky. "So your full name is Mai of the Desert, huh? That is the weirdest last name I have ever heard!" he said, and started laughing. I joined in after a minute of staring at him like he was crazy. "Ok, ok, I will say that it is pretty different, but I feel like it isn't really my last name. It's just something I use." Naruto stopped laughing at that, and started to think. "Why would you do that?" I just shrugged and paid for my ramen. "Well I'm heading home, we have a big day tomorrow." he nodded, paid for his food, and started walking with me to our apartments.

When we got there we said a good night to each other, and I walked into the house to see a package on the table with a note. It said,

Mai,

We found you with these things on you. We only did a Chakra search, so everything should be in order for you.

It was signed by the ANBU black ops. I sighed, and opened my bags that were on the table, and found a picture of me and three other people. One of them was the redhead. The pain became too much, and I blacked out again.


	5. The Exams Again

(Mai POV)

The memories were coming to me as dreams. None of them were complete, but I often saw the three from the picture. A boy with what looked like a mummy on his back and a cat-like hood, and purple makeup. There was a blonde girl with four pigtails and some sort of black metal thing on her back. The redhead boy with a gourd on his back, filled with sand. The redhead showed up in almost all of the memories that came back to me. I wished I remembered his name it would be like one more connection to my past that I needed. The flashes were becoming slow enough that I could tell what they were.

_The redhead is sitting on a swing. The other kids are playing ball. I'm walking over to him, asking if he wanted to play. Him looking at his feet, and then back up to me, smiling, telling me his name. "My name is Gaara!"_

The memories faded, and I opened my eyes. My head hurting the worst it ever had before. But I thought it was worth it to know how I met the redhead and that his name was Gaara. My headache would last until the next day. I could tell. I was weary beyond belief. I almost crawled over to my new bed and collapsed onto it falling asleep almost instantly. Not to my surprise, that night I dreamt about the redhead Gaara. I had almost worked out that he was the one I loved but I wasn't sure yet. I was learning to live with the heartbreak that wouldn't leave me until I saw whoever I left behind, that I knew.

I woke up the next day after only about five hours of sleep. I didn't know at the time how much sleep humans normally needed, so I thought it was pretty normal. I got up and realized that I didn't have any clothes at all after I had looked over to the table that ANBU had left my stuff. I saw a bag that looked like it could be full of cloth. When I looked into it I saw another note. When I read it, it basically said they knew I didn't have any clothes so they had gotten me some.

When I looked through them it took me a while to find something I was willing to wear. I ended up with a long sleeve black t-shirt and a pair of black skinny jeans. After I got dressed, I started to put my gear on. I got my Kunai holster and my shrunken pouch. I found the picture on the floor. I picked it up, and put it on the window sill without really looking at it, even though I longed to see Gaara's face again.

I looked at my clock, and saw that I still had a half hour since it was only 6 o'clock. The Hokage told me to wake Naruto up pretty soon. I sighed and walked over to his apartment door, and taking a deep breath in case I had to scream of something. I started knocking on the door. Within seconds, he opened up for me, looking like he had just been in a deep sleep. "Mai? What are you doing here?" I looked at him in his pajamas and was glad I had woke him up earlier to get ready. "I'm here to wake you up. We have the Genin exams today, and I have no clue where the academy is. And I don't really feel like being late on the only day that I'm going to be there. So start getting ready Naruto." he looked at me with a blank face, then when it sank in, he ran off to start getting ready, filled with energy so early in the morning somehow.

I thought about the memories that came to me last night before I went to bed, knowing I would have to talk to the Hokage as soon as I passed the test today. I walked into Naruto's house to see that it was pretty messy. Scrolls were all over the place, and the sink was a pile of dirty dishes that I could smell, and clothes were more often found then the floor was.

_Ok, this is just...gross. I guess I could try and help keep this place clean enough to live in. Gosh, I don't even know where to start...hmm, ok the dishes I can smell, so I'll do those, and maybe later I can work on the scrolls...I'm just not going to do his laundry for him, he can wash his own dirty underwear, thanks!_

I walked over to the sink and started on cleaning the dishes. It was a lot harder then it looked, since some of them were stuck together. Gross. I finished most of them by the time Naruto even saw me, which was about fifteen minutes. "Uh…um…thanks." he said, when he saw me. I did the last dish and turned around to face him. "It's no problem, really. I just wanted to make sure you didn't die or something. I can get some breakfast going too if you want." He nodded. I could feel shock and happiness rolling off of him in waves. "Yeah, thanks Mai. I want ramen for breakfast!" I sighed and shook my head.

_What is with this kid and ramen? And I don't really get why I'm doing this but it feels like I know someone like him...maybe it was that Gaara guy._

I made two cups of ramen, sat down, and started eating with Naruto. When we were done eating, he looked at me. "I didn't know you could make ramen so good! Why didn't you tell me?" he almost shouted at me. I was starting to get used to that actually. I laughed a little before answering him. "If I knew I could cook ramen this good, I would have told you, trust me! I don't think I ever had ramen before last night though, since it didn't bring any memories back." Naruto looked at me, shocked. "YOU'VE NEVER HAD RAMEN BEFORE! I'm glad I fixed that problem so fast!" he said while nodding. I laughed a little and then looked at the clock. "Naruto! We have to get going! NOW!" we only had about ten minutes left before class started.

He looked at the clock, and then took off running. I followed him, catching up with him easily. We ran as fast as we could and got there within about five minutes to spare. Some of the class still wasn't there. I walked in with Naruto, and I felt a few people stare. I looked at him, waiting for him to react to the stares with a glare or something, but instead he was laughing. "Well I guess we didn't have to run so fast, huh, Mai?" he said, still laughing a little and his hands behind his head. I couldn't help but laugh too "Huh, I guess not. But I do think we made a record for fastest running today." I said a little sarcastically, laughing at the same time. Naruto looked around and saw a black-haired boy getting a lot of attention from a group of girls.

Oh, _great. This guy has fan girls and probably thinks he can get any girl he wants. Hmm…I'm going to have to prove that wrong, but it won't be very hard. I'll just be me, and he'll probably annoy me so much that I won't have to work at it very hard._

That's when I saw Naruto staring at the boy right in his face. I sighed and wondered why Naruto didn't annoy me like he did everyone else. Suddenly, a guy's elbow hit Naruto in the back, and knocked him into the other guy, kissing him. I jumped up, and pulled them apart quickly, before anyone else had time to react. "Hey, Naruto I get that you may want to kiss somebody, but there is no need to go after some jerk that has his own fan club. I would go for a girl if I were you." I said to him, smiling. I could feel shock and wondering coming off of the guy behind me, but before he could say anything Naruto spoke up. "Eh…yeah…it was an accident, and I would never go for anyone like Sasuke! He thinks he's better than anyone else. Whatever!" he said the last sentence with almost a hint of hate coming from his words, but I could feel jealousy coming off of him.

The black-haired boy, named Sasuke spoke up from behind me. "Who are you? You must be pretty new to town to be hanging around with that loser, Naruto." he said. Naruto was kind of weird, but what really pissed me off was that he had just made fun of my only friend. "Yeah, I am new to town. My name is Mai. You better remember the name of the girl that's about to kick your ass for talking that way about Naruto. Oh, and just because you have a fan club that might try to kill me if I hurt you, doesn't mean I will ever like you, nor will it stop me from maiming you if you keep talking about my friend that way, got it?" he looked up at me, shock rolling off of him. It was barely showing on his face.

"Oh, so you have a crush on that loser, and you aren't like the rest of the girls in this town. So what? That doesn't mean you're stronger than me." Ok, it was stupid to get mad, and I knew that's what he wanted to do. Find my weak spot. So I kept my voice clam when I replied. "I don't have a crush on anyone. I am in love with someone, and he isn't from here. Whoever, and wherever he is, I will find him and hope he doesn't hate me for losing my memories, so I can leave to protect him. Oh, and Sasuke? Is that your name? I could kill you with one arm. I have been trained to be stronger than almost anyone. I could take down all of you without a problem. I can tell by how weak your Chakra levels are. Though you are the strongest of them all." my heart started to hurt a little when I talked about the boy that I loved, but I hide it easily.

Sasuke stared at me, no emotion crossing his face, but I could feel anger, disbelief, and an urge to battle me. I walked away before he could come up with anything else to say to me. The fan girls attacked me as soon as I walked away to go sit next to where Naruto was waiting for me. The one that was bothering me right now had pink hair, and talked like she knew everything. I wanted to break her nose, but I remembered that she may get on my team, so I tried to hold myself back. "I bet you don't even know anyone besides Naruto in the whole village. And you lost your memories? Yeah right! You just want to make yourself sound different in front of Sasuke because you like him too!" she said. I was trying really hard not to punch her out. So instead of letting everyone hear my answer I went up to her and whispered in her ear. "Look, bitch, I could take you down so easily, I wouldn't break a sweat. You don't know what loving someone is until you have them ripped away from you, and you can't get them off of your mind. Until someone doesn't believe that you love someone. Until you accept all of them no matter if everyone else hates them. That is when you love someone. Don't mess with me, and I won't have to start killing people before I'm even a Genin for the Leaf Village." I backed away, smiling and walked over to Naruto. I could feel her fear and shock coming off of her. I just smirked.

* * *

(Sasuke POV)

I was about to respond to that new girl, Mai, when she walked away right into a group of fan girls. I sighed. I never would get to say anything around her. I could tell. Then I heard Sakura's voice. She was yelling at Mai in that annoying tone of hers, "I bet you don't even know anyone besides Naruto in the whole village. And you lost your memories? Yeah right! You just want to make yourself sound different in front of Sasuke because you like him too!" I sighed again. She just didn't get it did she? Mai didn't care about me, and just wanted to get down and sit next to Naruto. It made me feel weird that she wanted to be by that loser more than me. It was a relief at the same time though. I could tell she was stronger than most Jounin, and I didn't want to be afraid that she would kill me all the time. I did know that I wanted her on my team though. If I had to work with someone, I wanted them to be strong.

I saw Mai back away from whispering in Sakura's ear with smile on her face. Sakura on the other hand, looked scared out of her mind from being so close to Mai. She ran over and sat next to me. I would have preferred if she had went to the other side of the room and left me alone. She didn't say anything though. She was thinking. I looked back over to Mai, and saw Naruto was trying to see if he could pick her up. When he finally did, he fell backwards and she fell on top of him, laughing. I could feel something boiling up inside me, I pushed it away and laid my head down waiting for class to start, but couldn't help but think about the new girl.

* * *

(Mai POV)

"Hey, Naruto! Sorry that took so long. I had to make sure people would remember me for who I can be." I said to him with a smile. He smiled right back at me and I felt an idea come to him. "Hey, Mai? How much do you weigh?" I smiled, slightly worried about where this was going. "Hmm…about ninety-five to maybe a hundred..." he smiled even wider at that, and moved over to me. The next thing I knew he was trying to pick me up, bridal style, and when he finally did, he fell backwards and I landed on top of him laughing like crazy. "Gosh, Naruto! I didn't know you were so weak!" I was still laughing. When I said that, he started laughing even harder. I slowly got up, still laughing, and helped him up when a ninja came in with a scar across his nose. "Ok, you guys! Calm down and get to your seats!" he may have been yelling at us but I could tell he was nice.

"That's Iruka Sensei." Naruto whispered into my ear. I nodded and sat down in the spot next to him. "Ok, today is the Genin exam. I will call you in one by one! Line up outside the door in alphabetic order by last name! I will see our new student first!" I felt many eyes look at me, then look away. I got up, and walked over to the Sensei. "GOOD LUCK MAI!" Naruto screamed, and then tackle hugged me to the ground. "AHH! Get off of me! I can't move!" he laughed, and I could hear Iruka Sensei laughing above me. "Ok, ok. Wait for me outside when you pass!" I laughed then, he had so much confidence in me.

"Ok, Mai. I wanted you in here first because you're new and because of your last name." I nodded. I had figured it was something like, that but didn't want to sound too cocky. "Ok then. Now that you know, all you have to do for me today is the shadow clone jitsu." he said smiling.

_Hmm…I like him. He seems to care about what happens to his students. I like that about him. We aren't just weapons in his mind._

I started to do the hand signs my hands that blurred together. **"Shadow clone jitsu!"** I said. Soon enough, four more of me popped up around from nowhere, into their existence. Iruka Sensei was looking at me, strangely. I was looking at him, waiting for him to say I passed. "Umm…yes. Well done! Here is your headband then!" I looked, and saw it was in black, and remembered the other headband I had gotten only a few days ago. I nodded, took it, and tied it around my neck as a necklace, then walked away. I looked over my shoulder and spoke to him. "Thank you Sensei." I said quietly, though I knew he had heard me, and walked outside and sat on a swing that was tied to a tree.

I watched as the new Genin came out one by one to see their parents. They got hugs congratulating them. Naruto was one of the last people out, and he didn't have a headband. "N-Naruto, what happened?" I asked letting worry show though my voice. "Nothing. I failed again. That's all." he said and then jumped away into the woods. "Naruto!" I yelled after him. He didn't listen to me. I just sighed and walked around till I found a training ground that was deserted. I started training by myself. I didn't feel comfortable when I had too many other people around me, so I figured I would feel the best alone and away from everyone. I started to practice my Tijitsu on some logs and trees, pushing myself as fast as I could go. I started to think as I worked.

_I wonder where Naruto ran off to. I just hope he doesn't get hurt or anything. I'm more worried about my team, I guess. I really don't want to be put with the pink-haired girl or that Sasuke's team. I hate both of them_. _It's funny how easy it is for me to hate. The only one I've felt that could even be my friend is Naruto. I guess I could try with some others, but I don't really think any of them will talk to me after how I acted today._

I sighed and saw that the sun was starting to set. I decided that I would look up at the night sky for a little while before going home to get a few hours of sleep. I was more tired than I realized. So I fell asleep in the clearing.


	6. My New Team

(Mai POV)

I opened my eyes to see that the moon was starting set, and the sun was rising. I got up quickly and jumped back home as fast as I could. I felt bad, since I knew I should have talked to Naruto last night, and I knew I shouldn't have fallen asleep in that field. I took a shower to warm me up, and clean off the sweat and dirt I had gotten onto me while I was training. I looked at my new clothes and pulled out a black skirt and black long sleeve shirt again. I put on some blood red leggings and then put my pouches on. When I looked at the clock, I saw I still I had about a half hour till I needed to be there. I looked in my mirror and put my hair up in a ponytail with my fringe hanging out. When I was done with that, I heard a knock on my door.

When I opened it up, I didn't expect to see the blonde knuckle head himself standing there. I was shocked and moved out of the way so he could walk into my house. "Hmm...it's pretty clean in here you know that?" he said when he walked in. I had to disagree, I had clothes on the floor and my wet towel was on top of my messy bed. I just shook my head but then I saw he had a headband. "Naruto! You got a headband!" I screamed in shock and happiness. He just grinned and then said something that almost made me smack him. "Whoa! I think I just saw you act like a normal girl for once!" Ok, I did smack him upside the head, then looked at the clock. "Hey, we only have fifteen minutes left before class starts, and I want you to show off your new headband." he laughed and then walked out.

We jumped from rooftop to rooftop till we got there. We walked into the room to hear a boy with upside down red triangles on his face yell at Naruto. "Hey this is only for ninjas!" I sighed, knowing Naruto would react to that. Sure enough I could feel anger coming from inside of him "I am a ninja! See the headband, jerk?" he shouted back. "Naruto, chill out." he looked at me, nodded, and tried to calm down even though I could still feel anger coming from him. We talked for a bit, and I found out he had a crush on the pink-haired girl. I finally learned that her name was Sakura. I just looked at him as disbelieving as I could. "Well you can like whoever I guess. It's not like you have much of a choice around here." I commented. He looked at me funny. "What do you mean?" I sighed, trying to find a way to explain.

"Ok, as a girl, there is no one here I would have a crush on. Either the guys are jerks, look ugly, or are just not my type. I could be friends with most of them. I can tell." Naruto looked at me thoughtfully, and then said something I thought I would never hear from him. "So the guy you kind of remember, you really love him don't you?" I looked at him, shocked by his words. Not really able to say anything, so I blushed a deep red and nodded. He smiled at me. "Good. That means you have someone waiting for you! That way when you do go back home, you won't be alone." I looked at him, grateful he didn't push the subject further. It hurt me to think about who I left behind.

Iruka Sensei came into the room and started to listen for my name, and the names of my fellow squad members. "Squad seven is Sakura, Sasuke, Naruto, and Mai. You guys are a four man squad, since we have an uneven amount of Genin here." To say the least, I was pissed, but happy at the same time. I had to deal with Sakura and Sasuke, but I got to have Naruto on my squad. I could feel Naruto getting mad. "What? Why do I have to have Sasuke on my team?" he said standing up and pointing at Sasuke, who just sat there looking at him with a glare. Iruka Sensei tried to stay calm, but failed. "Naruto sit down! I had to put you-the worst score-in the class on the same team with the two best scores!" I looked at him and spoke up "The two best scores? And who might they be?" I said emotionlessly. I wanted to know but I also wanted to scare anyone who forgot yesterday.

"Well Mai, Sasuke got the second best score…" Naruto interrupted him. "Second? Who got the best? Sakura?" Iruka Sensei glared at him. "Naruto, shut up! No the best score was not Sakura! It was Mai! She got a much higher score then the rest of you! Even Sasuke." I wasn't shocked, really. I just wanted to know if I was right thinking that Sasuke was the best out of these guys and I was. I saw Sensei had a thoughtful look on his face. I wanted to know what he was thinking about, so I tried to search his mind, and soon was listening to what he was thinking.

_She pasted so high on the exams that most Jounin couldn't beat her...she's at almost ANBU black ops level and she's never even had a mission before! Because of her, the team is going to get harder missions then the others..._

I pulled out of his mind and smirked. I had to keep that in mind, but until I needed it, I would wait with the rest of my team for our late Sensei. I didn't know why I was always being put with difficult people. "So, you're the top of our class, huh?" I heard Sasuke say next to me. I nodded smirking since I could tell he was scared of me, and still wanted to fight me nonetheless. "Yeah, I am, I guess it isn't a surprise really though. I'm now a Genin in two different villages. I'm not really sure what the other is though." he looked at me, mild surprise coming off of him. Then Naruto looked at me remembering what I said at the ramen shop and earlier today. "Oh yeah, I forgot about that. Is he, you know, the reason that you became a ninja here? To see if you can find him?" I nodded, glad that Naruto had a little tact for once.

Too bad Sakura didn't catch on in time. "He? Who is that? The guy that you 'love' that isn't Sasuke, is it? Don't tell me she fooled you too Naruto!" I looked at her, not able to control the anger that rose up with every snotty word she said. Naruto figured out what was happening before anyone else did, when I got up. Too bad he was so slow it could have saved me from almost killing someone, and saved me a lot of pain. I disappeared and reappeared behind Sakura with a Kunai at her neck, making a drop of blood run down from where the blade was. "One more word, and I will kill you, and nobody could stop me. I could become a monster right…" my words stopped. I had dropped the Kunai, and my head felt like it was going to explode. The last thing I heard before the memories started was two voices screaming my name.

_I was sitting on a wall…the same wall from a different memory, but at a different spot. Gaara was there. He looked down, and he saw me sitting on the ground. "You ran away before I could finish." I could feel hurt coming off of him. I looked down at the ground, ashamed that I would run away from him. He looked at me with my head hanging down, and he lightly lifted my chin with one of his hands and told me, "Don't look so sad. I like it much more when you laugh and smile. It makes me happy to be alive."_

The memory faded, and I could see Naruto was looking at me, worried. Sasuke didn't know what to think of me, and Sakura was trembling with fear. Her neck still slightly bleeding. Naruto looked at me silently, asking me if I had gotten another memory back, and I nodded. He held his hand out to me but I was too tired to really move, and we knew that Naruto couldn't carry me to the hospital. We already found out he was too weak yesterday, and I was going to pass out soon. "Wait till the Sensei gets here, then take me home or to the hospital…something. I can't seem to move right now…oh, and Naruto, I think I found out who he is..." but my voice trailed off and I passed out.

* * *

(Sasuke POV)

I looked down at the girl who was screaming like someone was killing her a minute ago, and before that, was willing to kill her own teammate. She was different for sure. I didn't know what to think about Mai now. Naruto looked at her as if, asking her a question, and she nodded. He offered his hand to help her up, but it looked like she couldn't move. How does something like fainting, make her so weak, yet the strongest person I knew. I focused back on her when she started to speak "Wait till the Sensei gets here, then take me home or to the hospital…something. I can't seem to move right now…oh, and Naruto, I think I found out who he is..." but her voice trailed off as passed out.

_She thinks she knows who he is? Did she remember who her lost love was? Why am I feeling the same thing I was yesterday when Naruto was trying to pick her up, and when she defended him and yelled at me? And why do I care so much about who she is? I know I care more about her then Sakura and Naruto…it must be because she's stronger than me..._

I looked at Naruto, who looked shocked, and didn't know what to do. Sakura was being the deadweight, trembling in the corner as far from Mai as she could, but still be in the same room. It looked like I was going to have to do the work here. "Naruto, come with me. We're going to take her to the hospital, and Sakura, when the sensei finally shows up, tell him where we went." I picked up Mai. Her body was light, and easy to hold. I didn't know how Naruto couldn't hold her. I jumped out the window and stop hopping from rooftop to rooftop, with Naruto a little ways behind me. I wasn't sure what I was going say when we got there. That's why I told Naruto to come too. I would have liked to do this by myself, but even if I did, Naruto would have followed me anyway. For some reason she was friends with him, and he knows almost everything about her, it seemed.

Then came another one of those feelings. I was almost mad at him for knowing her so well. I wanted to punch him for it. I didn't know why I would feel like that. I really only knew Mai's name, and I liked the way it felt to hold her close to me. I tried to push the feeling away and focused on what I was doing. We were almost to the hospital, and I could tell Naruto was starting to fall behind more and more. When I finally got there, I waited for him to catch up with me. When he finally did, he looked at me, nodded, and we walked in. The nurses at the front desk rushed over to us. They were worried about what happened. They were asking things like if she used too much Chakra and stuff like that. I sighed, and stood there holding her, as Naruto explained and said the Hokage would know what had happened and would want to talk to her when she woke up.

_This girl is important enough that the Hokage needs to know when she passes out? Had I known that I might have tried to help her sooner than I did…well nothing can change what happened now, but I do want an explanation from Naruto pretty soon._

"Ok, then. You! The boy who's holding her. Follow me and we can lay her down." I followed the nurse like she told me to, and after she pulled back the covers, I laid Mai down as gentle as I could. She looked so fragile while she slept. Her face looked gentle, caring, and innocent. It looked so unlike her. She usually would look emotionless. It made her look like a child instead of a ninja.

I didn't know what to do since Naruto disappeared and I knew that I wouldn't be able to focus on training without being told what was going on with my teammate, so I pulled up a chair over in a corner, so she didn't try and kill me when she woke up.

_I should have taken her weapon pouch from her when I could have...now if I tried to do it, it would be just plain weird…usually she has no emotion on her face, perhaps to hide her true feelings about everything around her…just like me…_

I looked up when I heard her mumbling in her sleep. I didn't want to seem like a creeper. I should have left then, and I was about to, but then I heard her say something that made me stop. "Are you the one I love...? Gaara?" I felt angrier than I ever had before. Even when my brother betrayed me. I hated him, and was scared of him, then mad at him. But one phrase seemed to make me madder than I ever had been before in my life. I had no reason, and no idea why her remembering who she was in love with would make me mad. It seemed to make me feel unworthy of love. Like I was being crushed. I knew it didn't make sense, but I didn't care, I wanted to kill this Gaara guy, just so I would be the one that she whispered about in her sleep.

"Huh? Ugh. My head. Sasuke, what are you doing here? And what am I doing here? I don't remember anything after Sakura pissing me off." A look flashed across her face. I think it was worry, but I didn't know why she would worry about someone she hated. "I-I didn't kill her did I? I wasn't that mad, I just wanted to scare her enough to make sure she never said anything like that again." I didn't know what to say. She just wanted to scare her, but didn't remember that she loved the guy she called Gaara. Maybe if I killed the guy before she could see him again I might have a chance...at what? Her falling for me? That wouldn't happen, but I could still try I guess.

"Sasuke? Please tell me I didn't hurt her! Sometimes I black out when I get mad and don't remember anything! I need to know if I've killed someone!" I looked at her. She was so worried that she just told me something about her. "No. You didn't kill her, but she might not be able to be around you for awhile, since you almost did, but started screaming and dropped the Kunai. That's why you're here." She looked at me, wide-eyed with worry. In the end, she couldn't speak, so she just nodded my way.

I walked out of her room without another word, wondering how I was going to find that guy named Gaara, without knowing where he's from, and what he looks like. I had knew I had to find him. I belonged with Mai…

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**OOOO DRAMA! scary isn't it? okay i know i said that i would update like once a week but i have alot done and wanted to start to post it sooner then later so you guys are going to be getting lots of chapts today! Yay for you! for me it just means i have to start writing again sooner...ah well i like writing! i know it's been a few chapters so i thought it might be a good idea to remind you guys to review this is my first story and would like some feedback so i can make things you know better! Oh and i want to say thanks to my friend/editer Holly! Your awsome for staying up with me until two in the morning working on this story! Ok guys BYE! **


	7. Training

2 weeks later

(Mai POV)

I had been ready to leave the hospital that night after the Hokage had asked me what had happened, with Naruto's help. It turns out that after a few hours, I could remember almost everything that happened, including my lost memory of Gaara. I knew he was the one I loved, and I wasn't sure what I would do if I ever saw him again, since my head would probably explode in pain. Since that day, the team had been getting along pretty good. We all found out that our sensei was Kakashi Sensei. He had made us go through a teamwork exercise, where we had to work together to get a bell. Naruto listened to me right away, and, to my surprise, so did Sasuke. And after Sasuke joined in, Sakura wasn't far behind. We ended up passing pretty quickly and now we were stuck doing D-Rank missions. Safe to say, I was bored out of my mind. We had gotten one C-rank so far and that's it. I was dying to do something important for once.

When I got to where we were supposed to meet, I saw Kakashi was there early for once. "Hello, Mai. I was hoping you would be here before the others, so I could take you to the Hokage's office. Come on now, let's go." I looked at him, and replied. "You just want to be late again because I know my way to the Hokage's office by heart now." he just looked at me, smiled and, started walking. I sighed, wondering what The Third wanted from me now. We walked in silence until we got there. Then Kakashi gave a little wave and was off. I sighed, and started walking up the stairs to his office, and hoped I wasn't in trouble. When I got to the door, I barely had time to knock before being told enter. "Ah, Mai, good you're here. I'm sure you know that your skills are far above those of normal Genin." I nodded, knowing that for a while. "Good. Then that will make this easier for me to say. I want you train with a special sensei for a few weeks while your team is on another mission. This is so you can improve your special skills, such as sensing emotions, feeling Chakra, and reading people's minds."

I nodded, not even wondering how he knew about my abilities, but I guess I kind of gave it away when I said I knew what level I was at. "Good. Then you may train by yourself today but after that, your new sensei will train you." I nodded. "Is there anything else you need from me?" I asked, since I had noticed that he didn't dismiss me yet. "Yes. Mai, tell me if you think your team would be ready for the Chunin exams if I put them through a harder mission." I blinked in shock since it was strange that he would ask me and not Kakashi. "Well, there is a strong chance they would be more prepared than they are now, and it would help them get along better. Sasuke and Naruto aren't on the best of terms, so helping each other in more dangerous missions could help change that, but really, I think that's just a rivalry. Sakura would benefit from it too. She seems like she's holding back for some reason, and seeing the people she cares about in danger would make her fight harder." The Hokage nodded, and said I could go.

Instead of walking back down, I jumped out of the open window behind him, and ran from rooftop to rooftop, until I got to my favorite training grounds that no one else really seemed to use. I decided to work on some Ninjitsu. If the Hokage was asking me if my team was ready for the Chunin exams, or not, then he must be thinking about entering some of the rookie ten as we call ourselves. It would be so cool, that's for sure. But are all the teams really ready? Well we all have a chance to get better, because we all had a little over a month to train and get stronger, but since I didn't really know the other teams, I couldn't speak for them. But what I did know was that I was the only one on my team that all three of them worked the best with. I almost hoped they would get sent on a difficult mission without me so they could learn to work together.

I trained until the moon was high in the night, and felt like I could keep going, but I didn't want to risk not having any Chakra for whatever my new sensei had in mind for me. So I stopped training, so I could watch the night sky like I did almost every night. I started to get cold after a while. I sighed and got up walking back home in hopes that tomorrow would be more interesting then learning an easy new jitsu or two.

* * *

(Gaara POV)

I looked up at the night sky like I did every night, while I wondered where Mai was. It had been almost three weeks since she had left with Orochimaru. I missed her more than I thought possible. It felt like a hole had been punched in my chest and was painfully sucking me down into it. I had gotten more temperamental and colder to Temari and Kankuro since she left. They didn't say it, but whenever something reminded me of her, I felt the urge to kill, and the sadness inside of me got much worse. I kept her note and headband with me at all times, hoping that if she came back, or I saw her, that I could give them to her, and maybe take her back with me. I wanted to take her in my arms. I wanted to know what it felt like to kiss her again. I knew that she would come back someday. I hoped that day would come sooner rather than later, because I don't think I could live much longer without her. I decided that if I kept thinking like that, then I would have to kill someone soon. So I decided to think about an upcoming mission to the Leaf Village.

_I can't believe I have to attack the Leaf Village...Mai always said she wanted to visit there when we became ninja...we would visit it, together…what if she's hiding there, because Orochimaru would look here first? I can't stand to think about it, so I won't. If destroying the village hidden in the leaves is the only way to restore the sand village-which I doubt it is-I will do it! If only to explore a little bit, and see if I can find the missing ninja that I love..._

I sighed again, knowing that trying to take my mind off of Mai would be pointless, so I just tried to figure out where she could be for at least the millionth time in the past few weeks. My love never had left my mind. I couldn't even concentrate when I was training with my siblings. I knew I had to find her. I had to keep my promise, and to hope that she had kept hers. I will never give up on my best friend, and more importantly, my long lost love…

* * *

(Mai POV)

When I woke up I heard Naruto pounding on my door. Groaning, I got up and let him in. "Hey! What are you doing still sleeping? I thought you didn't have to sleep that much." he questioned me, as went and sat down at my table. Yawning, I replied to him. "Well you would be tired too if you were up almost all night sneezing, and then just have it randomly stop so you could sleep two hours and have a loud mouth blonde wake you up." he looked at me, and realized I was messing with him, so he started laughing. "Ok, you got me, but you might want to hurry up and get dressed if you want to come on our next mission!" it was my turn to look at him. Surely, Kakashi had told the others that I would be training on my own while they went on their next mission or two? "Naruto? You mean Kakashi didn't tell you? While you guys are on your next mission or two, I'm going to be getting some side training so I can do more advanced things..." I felt bad for saying it, and feeling Naruto become mad and sad with me at the same time. Had I known he would take it this bad I wouldn't have told him.

I left him sitting there speechless, and got ready for the day. When I was done, I walked out, and I saw Naruto sitting there, with the same look on his face. I sighed, grabbing his arm and pulling him out of my house. I started walking to the area I figured they would be meeting up at. As soon as I got close dragging Naruto behind me, I saw I was right. "Ok guys, here's the blonde! Now, Kakashi." I turned towards our sensei and felt him flinch. I could call him Kakashi because he knew I was just as strong as him. "Why the hell didn't you tell them what I was going to be doing while you guys were away?" I could tell he just inwardly cursed, hoping I would never have found out or at least till after the mission. "Uh...you see, I was going to after we left, and they asked where you were, you see." I glared at him, letting him know he needed to tell them now. "Ok. Guys, Mai here won't be coming with us. She's going to be getting special training and missions while we are gone." I could feel the shock from Sakura and Sasuke. Both recovered quickly in understanding. "So you're going to get more advanced training because you're at least at a Chunin level, while the rest of us are only Genin then?" I nodded to Sasuke, happy I didn't have to explain it again.

_Except it isn't Chunin level I'm at...exactly…it's almost ANBU level. All I really need, is more experience, take the Chunin exams, and I could be promoted pretty fast...except I have to find Gaara after these guys can go on missions with other people...I'm sure the Hokage wouldn't mind, but if he did, then I would just leave my stuff behind and look for him without permission..._

I looked back up at them, and waved my goodbye. I gave Naruto a quick hug to show him that I wasn't leaving him behind, and then left to go back home. I headed down, wondering what my new sensei would be like. I was about a block away from my house, when I heard a pounding on the door, and the screaming for me to get outside because 'I'm being lazy'. More than worried, I ran and snuck up behind the black haired lady that I assumed was my new sensei. I stopped and stared at her for a minute before coughing, to show I was right behind her. "Ah! Who are you and do you know this girl?" she asked me. She sounded like she belonged in a band with her sing-song voice. "Um…yeah that would be me. I left the door unlocked..." I told her, still hoping that she would become more...capable soon. "Really? I must have missed that! I'm your new sensei! Call me Ayame. None of that sensei crap, just Ayame!" I sighed, and could tell this would be a long couple of weeks. "Ok, then I would assume that you know what my name is. But I'll tell you anyway. I'm Mai, your new...student." I grimaced on the last word, hoping she would notice.

She didn't. She just started to drag me to some sort of training ground that was 'the best I would ever see'.

_If she doesn't let go of me, I'm going to snap. I hate being touched. Especially by people I don't even know I can trust or not…I trust Naruto and I don't mind touching him with like hugs and stuff,_ _but only with the one I love would I allow to touch me..Gaara...oh Gaara…Ugh! Ok, get him out of your head for now, and focus! Ok, this lady's going to make me go crazy by the time she's done!_ _Hmm…look, I'm already twitching! She works fast..._

I sighed again, not sure how I was going to handle this peculiar woman, just hoping that I would get out of it alive, with my sanity.

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**okay so the next chapter is a filler and has nothing to do with the story at all.. just wanted to warn you..it's kinda cruel and you don't even need to read it..i'm not very happy with is sooo yea again don't need to read it but i have lots more done if you guys want me to upload them anytime soon :3 oh and again thank you to Holly and HAPPY BIRTHDAY! haha but please review there are appreciated alot! till next chapter**

**the original thorfax out!**


	8. Her last Mission

(Mai POV)

I couldn't believe what this woman was like. For the past week, she had dragged me around, yelled all the time, treated me like I was ether six or seventy, whatever age she wanted to treat me. We had yet to do anything worth my time. I _was_ ready to kill her, but couldn't since the Hokage had found her just to train me, specifically. I regretted not going with the rest of my team to guard some bridge builder. I'm was sure it was way more fun than almost having your arm ripped out of its socket every few minutes. I sighed. I decided to go and take a shower to try and calm down from the agonizing pain she caused me, even though I already had enough to deal with, but she didn't even know that, and she probably wouldn't even care. Even Sakura and Sasuke put together didn't annoy me this much!

_I need to calm down. I know if I keep getting this mad I will kill Ayame, and I don't want to have a kill record until I'm at least a Chunin back home…home…where Gaara is…NO, NO, focus, Mai, focus! Keep your mind off of him for now! Now, I don't want a killing record until I'm at least Chunin like I was thinking…then I won't care as much. I do hope that I can go on a mission soon though. I'm so bored. I'm repeating the same thing over and over! Oh, I hate her so much! I just want to rip her black haired head off of her body and then burn it sometimes._

I turned off the shower and started to dry myself off, hoping that she would be late today, or maybe even not show up. I did have little things I had to do, like clean my house. I was starting to think she wasn't going to show up, until I heard a knock at the door, and saw her standing there, smiling. I was worried for a moment when I realized she hadn't started to annoy the crap out of me yet. Today was already looking pretty good so far! "Ok, you're in a good mood then! I have a mission for you. Let's go!" I looked at her, trying to figure out what she had just said. It was so fast, I couldn't understand. She just sighed, and grabbed my arm. "Well, come on! Let's go! You've wanted to go on a mission forever, and now you don't want to come? Oh, and why not? Have you begun to love me so much you don't want to go? Are you starting to get attached to me because I'm such a good trainer? That's probably it. But you have to grow up!

Just because I may die, doesn't mean that we can back out of this now!" When I finally heard she might die, I started walking with her instead of being dragged around.

"Ok, so we have a mission. What level is it, and what are we doing?" I said to her, wondering how she thought she would die. She looked at me, serious for the first time in the week I had known her. "Well, one of us will have to sacrifice our lives on this mission, and I'm not going to let it be you. It's an S-Rank mission, if you want to rank it. It will take about a week, and you will be at least twice as strong as when you left. Most of it will be travel from here to where we need to go." she told me. I looked at her wondering what we were doing but she never told me. "Okay then! Are you ready to go? We won't be stopping till we get there, so about three days." I looked at her, and sighed, wishing she would go back to being serious. It helped me relax a little when she was serious. She started running, and told me to follow her, which I did right away. I mean, if she was going to die for me, I might as well listen to her for once.

We ran longer than I ever had before, and we ended up in a cave after three days of travel. I looked around, wondering if this was really where we were supposed to be, when I looked at Ayame. She just nodded and gave me her weapons. "Now kill me." she said. I looked through her emotions, and saw that she wasn't kidding around with me. "W-what? Why? I don't want to kill anybody!" she looked at me and sighed. "Mai, that was the whole point of this week. So you wouldn't be afraid to kill anymore. That's why I was being so annoying. I was trying to see if you would kill me at anytime. After a while, I could tell that you were not going to do anything to me in public, so I got you to come all the way out here. It was just to make you stronger. I had to make sure you could even kill, or maybe when you lived in another village they, told you not to kill. Maybe your little boyfriend didn't think you could do it, and told you not to! Maybe you're just afraid to protect the ones you love! Or are you too weak?"

I snapped when she started taunting me about Gaara. I threw several Kunai at her, and then went up behind her, slitting her throat, so her head was barely on attached. I stopped for a minute, and realized that I had just killed someone. I ran as fast as I could back to the Leaf Village, and made it in less than two days. When I got there, I went straight to my house, and collapsed on my bed, falling asleep.

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**Ok im sorry i like just noticed that the chapter are slowly getting shorter so I'm gonna try and work on that... but to the ten people who read this story thatnk you and I'm giving you guys a Christmas present of all of the pre-written chapters i have! Yay for you guys! Oh and also as always review please I would like it... and I keep review in mind when I'm uploading and writting the next chapt...so what I'm trying to say just review because i have alot of free time over winter break to write...**


	9. Seeing him again

(Mai POV)

I couldn't bring myself to do anything for a day or two after that, till Naruto came and barged into my room. "Mai! How come you didn't come and meet us when we got back?" I looked up at him feeling dead inside, but making myself seem happy, and maybe I would be happy if I kept it up long enough. "Naruto! What did I say about barging into my room? And I would have come and met you guys if I had known that you were coming back!" he looked shocked that I didn't know, as if I could just tell when he came around or something. "Oh. Ok, sorry, I didn't know that you didn't know…but anyway, Kakashi Sensei wants to talk to us." I sighed, and got up to come with him. When he saw I was following him, he grinned and started running away. I sighed and ran at about half speed, but still easily beat him to the others.

"Hey guys, how have you been?" Sakura looked up at me and smiled. "I'm pretty good! I learned that I can control my Chakra better than the boys!" she told me happily. I smiled and high-fived her, then looked at Sasuke, who seemed to be sulking. When he saw that I was looking at him, he looked away. I shrugged. "Whatever, sunshine." I said to him. We then saw Naruto running up to us. When he saw me, he started running faster, shouting. "How did you beat me? I was going as fast as I could, and you just stand there just breathing the same as if you would be walking!" I looked at him, and smiled, telling him that it was my secret. "Ok. Now that you guys are all here, I have something I want to tell you. I signed you all up for the Chunin exams! Now, it is completely optional if you want to come or not, so think about it before deciding since you could die." he looked at all of us and smiled from what I could tell, with half of his face being covered up with his scarf, and left us alone. Sasuke started walking away without a word, and Sakura started to follow after him, with that stupid fan girl crush she had on him. I sighed and turned to Naruto, who looked super excited about the chance at becoming a Chunin. We started to walk home, talking about what might be on the Chunin exams, when we saw Sakura looking sad, standing in the middle of the street.

When we walked up to her, a little kid popped out of nowhere, or at least that's what I thought at first, and then I saw a cloth painted like a fence. "Hey boss! Who's the girl?" Naruto looked at the boy with no expression on his face "Oh, hey, Konahamuro." and then walked past him, stood next to Sakura, and tried to see what was up with her. He sure was an idiot sometimes. It was pretty obvious it was rejection. "Hey Sakura, what's up?" she didn't respond to anything that they said, until Konahamuro said something about her being Naruto's girlfriend. She hit them both on the head, and stormed off. I sighed, knowing this would end badly. "Wow boss, she hits hard! She's not the best girlfriend! I mean, what's up with her forehead anyway?" Yep, they were in for it. Sakura turned around, and started chasing the poor boy down the streets. Naruto ran after them trying to get her to calm down. I sighed again, and started walking toward them, and then figuring that I would scare them a little. I climbed onto one of the roofs, and hid where I could see them stop, started talking to someone else.

I figured that they were going to get into a fight, so I jumped down in front of them, facing whoever they were fighting. I saw that they were about to fight a cat boy, a pigtailed girl, and Gaara from the picture I had. I fell down to my knees in pain, but managed to not scream. "Crap! Mai! It's happening now?" I heard Naruto say, and run up to me trying to stand me up when I saw sand shoot out and attack him. "No! Don't he's my friend! Please! AH!" I yelled for Gaara not to attack Naruto, and then screamed in agony. The pain was horrible. I felt like someone was dipping my head into boiling lava, and then cooling it off in ice water. The last thing I remembered was sand cradling me as I passed out.

* * *

(Gaara POV)

I was stopping Kankuro and Temari from fighting some little kid and his friends, when she jumped out in front of us. Mai, my love. She saw us, and fell to the ground in pain. I heard the boy in orange scream, "Crap! Mai! It's happening now?" and then he ran up to her, and tried to help her up. I was mad that she allowed another guy to even touch her, let alone help her in any way! I sent sand out and tried to attack him, when I heard her scream pain in every word. "No! Don't he's my friend! Please! AH!" she screamed in pain, and my sand went out to stop her from falling to the ground as she fell asleep. I brought her close, looking at her face for the first time in months. I saw a few pieces of hair were on her face so I moved them with my hand. I looked at the blonde boy, ready to ask what was going on, when I saw him looking at me in shock and...happiness. "So, you're the one she loves. She lost her memories, thanks to Orochimaru, but they're slowly coming back. It's painful every time one comes back, and more important, the more her memory comes back, the more it hurts. I guess seeing you, brought back the most important one of all. We should take her to the hospital though, to make sure she's fine."

I nodded, looking back down at Mai, wondering how much she remembered me, and what she's gone through since she left, since she was now wearing a leaf headband, instead of the sand one that she left behind. I followed the boy, my sand still holding Mai, to the hospital where the nurses saw her, and led us to a room where they said she had been in before. I set her down carefully, as if she might break at any second. After I stared at her for a minute, I ripped my eyes away from her, and looked at the boy, waiting for him to tell me everything that had happened to her. He told me his name was Naruto Uzimaki, and everything that had happened up until about two weeks ago, when he left for a mission, and had just come back that day. I didn't know what to think. From Naruto's point of view, he thought that she was always thinking about me, and not being with me made her hurt inside. I looked back over to her and heard her mumbling something in her sleep. The both of us listened in, even though we knew it was wrong. "Gaara...I'm so sorry. I love you. Please don't hate me." I almost started crying if I hadn't known that someone else was in the room with me.

Naruto looked at me, smiled, and left the room, guessing that I wanted to be alone and maybe to tell her team that she's fine now. I looked down at her again, not knowing where to start with her. She may not even remember everything that had happened the day that she left. She might not even know my name, truth be told. She had never told Naruto, and he was her best friend, but he had noticed that before he left, she had a picture of Temari, Kankuro, and I next to her team's group picture. I heard her whimper in her sleep. It still must have hurt for her memories to come back, even in her sleep. I wanted to touch her, to make sure that this wasn't a dream, to make sure that it was her, and to let her know that I really was here. I started stroking her hair, when I heard voices coming down the hall and closer to her room. Soon enough, six people burst into the room. I was surprised to see that the black haired boy had come too, even though he looked like he couldn't care less. "So this is him." I heard the boy mumble under his breath, hate in his voice. "What was that Sasuke?" Naruto said to him. The boy they called Sasuke just glared at him.

"Oh no is she alright? Oh, I wish I could do something, and we were just starting to get along, and now she's going to leave!" an annoying pink haired girl said, running up to her on the other side of the bed. I sighed.

_Isn't anyone in the Leaf Village normal? These guys are all...strange…and that's coming from me!_

The man with silver hair sighed, and started to introduce them to me. Temari and Kankuro, had come in with them. His name was Kakashi, the annoying girl was Sakura, I was right about the black haired boy being Sasuke, and of course I knew Naruto. "So Gaara, it looks like we finally found your little Mai then, huh?" Kankuro asked me, sarcasm entering his voice. I glared at him, and he shut up right away. "Huh?" we all heard her say, and looked at her, waiting for her to wake up. "Oh, hey guys. Should I do anything about my headache before or after I attack the sand siblings over there? I've missed them a lot, and I'm not really sure how long I can hold back." I almost smiled at her words. My Mai hadn't changed at all.

* * *

(Mai POV)

When I passed out, the dreams started taking the forms of my memories. It hurt to remember them all at once, but I remembered everything that had happened to me after I met Gaara. I was happy about that, until I got to the part right after Orochimaru ordered me to attack. The memories had come back with the rest of them.

_They drew their weapons, ready to attack me. I was faster, killing the boy, and the guy with the huge sword within seconds. The woman figured out what was happening faster than her companions did, and she threw some Senbon at me, hoping that they would hit. I was faster than that, and easily jumped out of the way. What I didn't know, was that she had thrown more on target after a few hundred throws. They hit me, and I was going to pass out, but not before Orochimaru came down in front of me. "Now then, my plans did work out after all._ _I was afraid I would have to take you all the way to the Leaf Village myself. Now, just to get rid of that little thing you call love for the demon boy…" he held his hand to my head and suppressed my memories. I didn't see how I got to the Leaf Village as the poison in the woman's needles had taken affect, and I had fallen asleep._

I started to wake up a little after that, and heard Kakashi's voice saying who my team was. Then I remembered that Gaara would probably be there too, and didn't know their names. "Huh?" I mumbled so they knew I was waking up. Silence entered the room as I felt them all staring at me. I sat up so I could make the remark I really wanted to say. "Hey guys. Should I do anything about my headache before or after I attack the sand siblings over here? I've missed them a lot and I'm not really sure how long I can hold back." I made my headache and my want to hug the sand sibling sound like it was nothing. A wave of emotions met my words. Sakura and Temari's relief, Kankuro's guilt for betting on me, Kakashi's hidden worry, Naruto's happiness, mixed with hyperness, Gaara's love for me, and something that worried me. Sasuke was acting like none of this mattered to him, but I could feel hate and jealously towards Gaara. Surely that couldn't be because of me, could it? I tried to ignore it for now and would think about it later.

I looked at Gaara, not knowing what to say, and not being sure how he would react to a kiss right now. He showed me on his own, so I didn't have to guess. He leaned over to me and started to kiss me. I kissed him back, not caring what anyone else thought at that point, just happy that my one and only true love, my soul mate, still cared about and loved me. We only kissed for a few seconds before he pulled away, but the message was sent. We still loved each other even after everything that had happened. "Glad your back, Mai." he said a hint of a smile on his lips, not wanting to show more emotion then he already had. I smirked at him and rolled my eyes. "Glad your back Mai? That's really all you can say? I was taken by Orochimaru, had to

regain my memories and most of all had learn to live with these guys, and now I have no idea if I'm a Leaf Village ninja or a Sand Village ninja." I was joking of course, and the sand siblings could tell, but sadly Naruto couldn't. "Wait! 'Had to learn to live with these guys'? What's that supposed to mean?"

I sighed and wanted to hit him for being such an idiot, but I knew Gaara wouldn't let me out of bed anyway. Luckily, Sakura felt the same way and hit him for me. "YOU IDIOT! SHE WAS JOKING!" I winced a little, my headache still hurting, and the screaming sure wasn't helping. Kakashi noticed my wince and took some action. "Hey guys you really shouldn't be screaming when we have someone with a headache around, especially one that could kill you in three seconds flat." they stopped yelling at each other then and looked at me, showing they were sorry. The sand sibling looked at me in shock when they heard he thought I was that strong. I sighed and leaned my head on Gaara's shoulder like I used to do when I was getting tired after watching the stars with him, he put his arm around my waist and whispered into my ear. "I have no idea what you went through these last two months." I laughed a little and nodded, just as unsure as him. "I kind of took it day by day." I whispered back to him. Kakashi looked at me, making sure it was ok for him to leave. I nodded, showing it was, a little surprised that he made sure it was ok beforehand though.

"So wait, are you going to enter in the Chunin exams? If you are, are you going to be entering as a sand ninja or a leaf ninja?" Temari brought up a good point. I wasn't really sure myself yet. I wanted to go back to the sand village where I grew up, and live with Gaara again, but I didn't want to have to leave my new friends behind. "I am entering. I'm not sure what village though. I would go as a sand ninja, but I'm not sure if the Kazekage would want me too." Gaara looked at me, sadness streaming off of him and then I realized it wasn't just Gaara's sadness this was coming from. It was rolling off of everyone in waves, until it was almost choking me. "Guys, no matter what village I go as, I'll make sure that I can see all of you as much as I can." the sadness was lifted up a little by everyone, except the sand siblings. As far as I could tell, they thought I would pick the Leaf Village. I really was sure I would go back to the sand. I loved it there. It's my home. I had always felt slightly out of place in the Leaf Village, and I knew Naruto could live without me now, even though we kind of had an older brother and a younger sister relationship. I wanted to feel the heat again. I was getting sick of trees, and longed for the sand of the desert, but I knew that it would be hard to live without my new friends. I knew what my choice would be if I got the chance. I also knew because of the last few months I would be traveling a lot, whether it was to visit those I left behind, or to search for and kill Orochimaru for what he'd done to me.

I started to get up, and I felt sand getting ready to balance me if I started to fall. I rolled my eyes, knowing I wouldn't fall. I would never fall from my memories given back to me again. I walked over to the window and opened it wide. Then I walked back over to Gaara, kissed him, and whispered in his ear to meet me later at the same place as earlier, and jumped out of the window heading towards the Hokage's office, leaving some shock behind me. As I jumped from rooftop to rooftop, I wondered how I was going to say this to the Hokage. I stopped when I got to his building. I sighed and started walking in. The guards let me by, knowing that I was always allowed to visit him. When I got to his door, I paused, and then knocked. "Come in." I heard his voice say from behind the door. I pushed the door open and walked in. "Hello Mai. I'm assuming there is a reason you came to visit." I nodded. I was glad he just got right to the point today. "I've remembered everything. I saw Gaara Of The Desert today, and I remembered everything from when I met him, and after. I was a ninja from the sand village. I was top of my class, had just become a Genin, and much more, but those are the important parts of what was going on when I 'left'. I want to see if it at all possible for me to go back to the sand before I decide what I want to do with my life, and the Chunin exams." I tried not to sound worried, but he could see through me.

"I had already told the Kazekage about you when you first came to the Leaf Village. He told me that you were welcomed back anytime and not to tell you about your past. I think he wanted to see if you remembered by yourself. I will write another message to him to see if you can enter into the Chunin exams as a sand ninja, but be on a Sand Village team, or if not that, then your old team. It doesn't happen very often, but sometimes there can be a group of mixed villages. I'm sure he will be fine with it, but first I want to make sure I was right, guessing that you want to go back to the Sand Village." I nodded to him. "Yes. Thank you very much. I'm so grateful that you would do all of this for me even when I'm not really even a part of your village." he smiled, and nodded, showing that he would have done the same for anyone. Before I knew what I was doing, I hugged him and ran off to go meet Gaara.

* * *

(Sasuke POV)

I watched as Mai had jumped down in front of the sand ninja, and then collapse in front of them. I had figured out by the time Naruto reacted that the red head was Gaara, and that he was the one I wanted to kill. When I saw the sand coming over by her, to hold her, I tensed, afraid that she would be killed from collapsing, but instead, the redhead brought her closer to him, and brushed some of her hair out of her face. Then Naruto started talking, but I was too far away to hear what he said. The redhead just nodded and looked back down at Mai. I felt my urge to kill him rise a little at the way he looked at her. Then Naruto ran off with the boy, following him, Mai still being held by the sand. I decided to jump down in front of Sakura after that, to make sure that Gaara was gone and that the other two didn't try to attack again. They just looked at us, a blank shock on their faces. Finally, the blonde spoke up "W-was that really Mai? Our Mai? It sure did look like her." I could tell that she had next to no clue what was going on, so I spoke up. "That Mai lost her memories, and is still trying to bring them back. That's what was just happening to her. We should probably go and see if she'll be ok in time for the Chunin exams, Sakura." she nodded and we started to walk to the hospital. I could feel the two sand ninja were following us.

The only reason I really wanted to go to the hospital was to see if she remembered them. If she did, it would take a lot to kill Gaara, but even more to get her to love me. When we got there, we saw Naruto was talking to Kakashi sensei. I would guess he was telling him what had happened. When we walked in, Naruto saw us, and told us to follow him. We walked down the hall to her room. When we got there, we saw Gaara stroking her hair slightly, as if to make sure she was real. I just about went over and knocked him out for touching her "So this is him." I murmured under my breath, not thinking anyone would hear me. "What was that Sasuke?" Naruto asked me. I glared at him, and he left me alone.

_I have to keep my anger under control. If I don't, I will attack_ _Gaara, and I don't think I could kill all of these guys, and even if I did, how would I explain it to Mai? 'Yeah someone came in and killed everyone but left me and you. Weird, isn't it?_' _Yeah right, she's so much better than that, that it's scary._

"Huh?" I heard Mai say. Everyone went quiet and looked at her. "Hey guys. Should I do anything about my headache before or after I attack the sand siblings over here? I've missed them a lot, and I'm not really sure how long I can hold back." there she goes, making her pain sound like nothing. She looked at everyone for a second, but pause on me, with a confused look on her face before turning to look at Gaara. She was searching for the right words when he leaned over and kissed her. The anger I had felt before was nothing compared to this. I left the room without anyone even looking at me, more set on my goal to fight and kill Gaara then ever...

* * *

**Hmmm HOLY CRAP! The drama that I write will kill me some day! But who do you think Mai will choose over the two boys? Who do you think is better for her? Oh wait that's right the next chapter need to be uploaded for you to even be able to get an opinion on that! Sasuke's pretty blood thirsty in this story...hmmm strange, but not as strange as flying squirrels...but the real question i whant to ask and REALLY want you guys to answer is what village should she choose? You guys can pick one of these three and I have a higher chance of picking the one you want if it gets lots of people on its side or whatever..anyway the choices are, Leaf Village ninja, Sand Village ninja, or both yep both as in a Sand ninja and a Leaf ninja...okay guys start thinking abou it!**


	10. Shattered

(Mai POV)

I was walking to the spot where I had told Gaara to meet me at. I was worried that he wouldn't show up, because he didn't know where I meant or because he didn't care. I still wasn't sure that if the two months that separated us had made our relationship better or worse. I knew though that if it came right down to it I loved him. I could tell it was strange for him to admit his feelings, years of hiding them for almost everyone had done that too him. I sighed and thought about the place I wanted to show him now that the moon was rising. I had found it during the time I was being 'trained' by my sensei. I looked down the street and saw no one waiting for me, I quickly searched the area for a chakra patterns and felt two, one was Gaaras, the other I could faintly recognize but it seemed...different then the one I knew. I sighed and shook it off sensing that the person that the pattern belonged too wasn't going to attack anytime soon, if ever. I looked around and realized that Gaara didn't know I was there yet. I smirked and searched for his pattern again and noticed it was up in the tree that was near by. I quickly jumped up onto a building and hid myself and my chakra, I then jumped over to a tree branch deciding to mess around a little bit and somersault a few times before landing without shaking the branch at all. I leaned down and kissed Gaara on the cheek before he figured out I was here.

He spun around quickly almost making him fall off of the branch, the look of shock and confusion then fear of being embarrassed was priceless and I fell to my ass laughing at it. He just frowned at me knowing he had giving me what I was hoping for. "Aw come on Gaara! Cheer up a little, make a joke, chill out or something!" I told to him once I could stop laughing a little bit. He smirked at me and I felt like I would regret what I had just said since he was much stronger then me and I wouldn't be able to get away even if I wanted to because of his sand. Before I could try and figure out what he was doing he had picked me up bridle style and was jumping from rooftop to rooftop with me in his arms looking up at him a little surprised and worried about what he was going to do to me. He looked down at my face and smirked again, that didn't help the worry at all. When he finally stop I saw we had came to a small clearing with a pond in it. He then walked right over to the pond and almost dropped me in. I was terrified for a second that he would drop me in and I let it show on my face. I guess that's what he was going for since he chuckled a little and put me on solid ground.

_Okay note to self: NEVER tell Gaara to joke around, weather or not you are joking yourself. He will scare you and possibly do whatever you just did to him right back. So basically it's just plain a bad idea. But I do wonder why he did that. He past a few rivers and other ponds but he seemed to want to come here, and here alone...just what are you planning Gaara? _

Gaara looked at me wondering what I was thinking so deeply about. It worried him that he went too far, I could feel it coming off of him. It was painful to feel, that he thought that we were that fragile, that we could break apart and not talk to each other again. It made me want to cry but I held the tears in just because I was a genin didn't mean I had to act like one, and I didn't want Gaara to take them the wrong way. "So Gaara, why here?" he looked at his feet embarrassed that I had noticed, again just because I was a genin didn't mean I had to act like one. "Gaara? Look I won't ask if you don't want me to know I just thought I would ask." he sighed and looked at me his emotions unreadable. "Mai you really shouldn't walk around with your heart on your sleeve, it makes you more vulnerable. I-I don't know what came over me earlier. I showed emotions like I did because I saw you get hurt. I don't want that to happen again during a battle or something. I can't show them, a good ninja will never show his feelings, I have to follow that teaching until I die." he sounded so sad as he tried to explain himself my heart broke for him, well it would have if it wasn't being crushed slowly and painfully as he spoke. I couldn't hold the tears back much longer but I had to say something to him, I knew it would break us apart for a long time but I had to say it. "You don't get it do you? I showed what I felt when I was around those I cared about but because I knew that fighting and even k-killing would lead me closer to finding the one person I cared about more then anyone else, I did it all. I never let anyone truly know how much I was dying inside when I hurt someone or remembered something about you, I felt like my heart was being torn into pieces when I thought about the fact that I may never get to see you again. I never once cried and it made me fight all the harder when it came down to it, it made me want to remember everything, and to just be able to see you again even though I knew it would hurt when I did, and I was right except I got hurt somewhere else besides my head. My heart feels like it's being ripped to pieces, crushed and then left behind to bleed out. Do you get it now Gaara? When you love someone it can be a good thing or a bad thing to leave them to try and protect yourself. Think about it."

I walked away from him crying and not looking back, wishing with all of my ruined heart that things could go back to how they were before I lost my memories. I felt like I was stronger then and my heart was whole, not torn to shreds. I had Gaara then and nothing to worry about besides what my first mission would be. Then Orochimaru came and caused me so much pain it took someone much stronger then me to deal with it without crying, if anyone even could. Naruto would have broken down weeks ago, Sakura couldn't have even left without crying her eyes out whereas I may have cried a little but was determined to do what I had to, Sasuke well I wasn't sure really sure, he had gone though so much and never cried once, he might have been able to deal with what I had to. I stopped walking when I realized that I was sobbing and could barely breath, I knew I would have to sit down soon so I didn't hyperventilate and pass out. I walked a little farther till I found a bench on the road out of the village, I collapsed onto it near hysterics. I didn't really know why I was crying so hard really, I think I was just letting out all of the pain after months of just living with it and now my new heartache wasn't going to help me stop anytime soon. I was trying to regain my breath when I felt someone coming closer to me, I tensed up not wanting for anyone to see me in my weakest moment. I looked up as they neared and saw it was Temari, I was slightly relieved, after all I knew she cared about me, I was still her friend even after a long separation.

She stopped when she heard crying and looked around for where it was coming from then saw me lying on the bench with tears streaming down my face. She looked shocked that I would show emotion like that in public, she knew I had sometimes cried when I was alone or sleeping but never when other people could see me. "Mai? What happened to you?" she said as she ran over to me and started hugging me tightly trying to calm me down. "Shh calm down I can take you back home is it unlocked?" I nodded grateful that she understood that I couldn't do anything for myself at that point. She picked me up not unlike Gaara did, I shouldn't have thought of that since it made me cry harder, Temari just looked down at me worried since I had never been like this in my life. When we got my house she walked right in and laid me on the bed. And started to get things from around the house she knew I would need. Tissues, a wastebasket for said tissues, an extra pillow I had in case I needed to hurt something, and herself. She was enough to make me calm down a little. She started to hand me tissues and giving me comforting words for hours at least until midnight but I wasn't quiet sure, everything seemed to be shown at me in different perspective of someone who had just been hurt almost unbearably by the person they cared most about. "Now that you've calmed down enough to speak can you tell me what happened? Please I want to know why your hurting so bad." she sounded so truthful that I couldn't help but to trust her right now in my time of weakness. "Gaara." was the only word that I said at first, Temari looked beyond shocked that her little brother could make me cry like this. "What did he do?" she eventually chocked out from behind her shock and anger. I started to tell her everything that had happened since I had jumped out of the Hokage's window, I wasn't sure how I managed to not cry at all while I was telling her.

I figured that I was out of tears and couldn't produce anymore even if I wanted too. When I was done I could feel the anger at her little brother filling her up as she almost started screaming and running to go and attacking him for giving me a heartache as severe as this one and making me relive the memories of pain that I had. "Temari..don't say anything about this unless he asks..at least not to him..I don't want to know how much it takes for Shukaku to come out again..I don't know if I could stop it this time.." I whispered to her my voice hurting from talking so much and crying. She looked at me nodded and went to go and get me something to drink. I stared after her still a little too numb to even really think about anything. When she came back I took the glass of water from her without really changing expressions. She looked at me again pity in her eyes. I didn't want pity I wanted to go kill Gaara, but I also wanted to go and kiss him because no matter what he did to me I knew that I would love him, a fight couldn't change that. "Mai I have to go back to the hotel soon or the guys will start to worry about me, but I'll come back tomorrow, okay?" she told me hoping I would trust her to came back. I nodded knowing that she wouldn't break her promise unless something hugely important came up last second. She hugged me and left without another word, she knew that 'goodbye' would make me loose the grip I had tried so hard to regain after Orochimaru came to me. I was more grateful to her then she knew and probably ever would. Soon after that I feel asleep from pure over excretion and mental strain.

* * *

(Temari POV)

As I left Mai I knew I wasn't going to be able to not yell at Gaara about this. The poor girl really loved the boy and he went and said something stupid! I swore that if his stupidity didn't kill him some day I would just for making Mai cry like that. She was easily one of the strongest people I knew, she had never been afraid of Gaara even after she knew what he could do and she had never cried in front of anyone before, sure sometimes I heard her whimper in her sleep or notice she had slight streaks on her face right away in the morning, but she never let anyone know that she was hurting inside before. She just took it and never gave up on who or what she believed in, that's why she was Gaara's friend and now, I guessed, lover. As soon as I got out of her room I ran as fast as I could towards the hotel that we were staying at knowing that Gaara wouldn't be asleep so I could yell at him until the sand started to came at me. He scared me even though he was my younger brother, that damned Shukaku is the only reason he isn't like the rest of us, he could be normal if it wasn't for the demon.

I got to the hotel pretty quickly since I was running as fast as I could. When I got to the door Kankuro opened for me before I had even knocked I wasn't looking at him though I was glaring at the slumped over form on the couch. I guess Kankuro figured out that I would attack if I wasn't help back since he put some chakra strings on me so I couldn't move without him willing me to do so. I glared at him and growled "Do you have any idea what this idiot did?" I spoke it with as much venom in my voice as I could. Both him and Gaara looked at me shocked that I should know what happened before they told me. "Yeah. From what I can tell our little bro here screwed up his relationship pretty badly. I guess that's were you've been then." Kankuro said that as if he knew half of the pain that Mai was having to deal with. "Kankuro I don't think you realize that she has been crying for hours and I only ripped myself from her side trying to help her because she was so tired that she looked almost dead. If you know anything about Mai at all you should know that she doesn't cry. Ever. He broke her heart, ripped it to pieces at that." Gaara looked up at me as I spoke unable to put his feelings into words since he sat there with his mouth hung open and a pained expression on his face. I almost felt bad for a moment but then I remember that he had caused this pain himself, and had hurt Mai in the process. I growled at him wordlessly. He just shook his head and then buried in into him hands again, obviously have no idea what to do, especially since I was on Mai's side in this, let's just say he was lucky I didn't know how to break Kankuro's chakra strings.

"Temari, you don't know both sides of the story." Kankuro almost pleaded with me. "I don't need to I know what was said, and that was bad enough! Can't you two figure out that she didn't even know if Gaara cared or not then he went and said something stupid!" they looked at me again shocked once more. "Okay so both of them were scared that the other didn't care about them and thought they had just acted on memories then. Gaara's been beating himself up because he saw how much she cared after trying to push her away, if it wasn't for the sand I'm not even sure we would still even have a little bro." Kankuro said truthfully. I stared at Gaara shocked that he actually did care about someone other then himself.

_He starting to get what it means to truly love someone. It has a lot of hurt involved, some relationships more then others..this is one of those..but I know that if they both learned how to show what they really felt then they could live happy and together without ever having to worry if the other still loved them or not...I also don't really think all of Mai's new friends helped out to much earlier...they made it seem like she had lived here for more then two months and that she was really attached to them... I'm not fully sure on what to do but I do know I have to make sure that they don't end up hating each other for a simple misunderstanding. I would hate myself for letting that happen._

I sighed and then realized I was the only one who had both sides and could do anything about it besides Gaara, and well he was scared of Mai right now, afraid that she would reject him again. If I was going to have to do this they better have some pain pills since I was already starting to get a headache thinking about what I had to do. "I'll help you fix this but in the end it really only depends on how you and Mai react to what I'm going to do." Gaara looked up at me scared as I walked away, Kankuro had released his strings on me so I could freely walk into my room leaving the two boy's too wonder what I was going to do next. Truth be told I wasn't sure myself yet I'd figure something out, I always did. Then a sudden plan came to me and I grin came to my mouth and I knew what I had to do.

* * *

**WAHH! Just when they get back together they fight and ruin it! I'm sooo not being nice here... oh and remember to put in your opinions on what village mai should go to, sand, leaf or both! Now I can ask you who you think Mai should end up with! I already know but I figured I should ask you guys cuz after that well...you never know... One thing I'm happy about right now is that none of you know where i live so you can't kill me! Okay anyway this is the last of my pre-written chapter and now I'm going to have to start writting them again and figure out what Temari's got planed since I got writers block after this.. So wish me luck!**


	11. Authors Note

Okay guys, sorry for being gone for so long, Thorfax97 is back! With a lot of new stuff too. I don't have internet currently :'( but it will be back, until then I am using my schools computers. So the updates will be random and spaced out oddly. I'll let you guys know when I have my internet back but I have so many more chapters to add onto this and a couple new stories. Once I get the new chapters up some reviews on them would be nice because people are sick of editing my stories. Gaara and Mai do have a lot more ahead of them. I'm not quitting on this story. Talk to you guys again soon hopefully!

-The original **Thorfax**


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